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Band 2.5

The line graph below showes changes in the mount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000.

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Introduction
The line graph illustrates the changes in how much and the three different types of fast food used by Australian teenagers between 1975 and 2000.
Body paragraph 1
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that experienced Hamburgers
,
Verb problem
experienced
show examples
 rapid growth in the period.
Moreover
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, Fish and Chips
was in the
Verb problem
apply
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peaked in the first year but
in the
Correct word order
had a sharp fall in the last year
show examples
last
Linking Words
 year had a sharp fall. And the
last
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 thing
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is the Pizza
it
Punctuation problem
, it
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 started to
raise
Verb problem
rise
show examples
 from the beginning, but it stayed relatively stable in the
last
Linking Words
 five years.
Body paragraph 2
According to
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 what is shown, there were gradually climb in the pizza and hamburgers from 1975 to 1984 and from 1985
to1994
Correct your spelling
to 1994
, there was a slow increase. As it has stopped in the
last
Linking Words
 five years.
Conclusion
In terms of the fish and chips in the first 5 year it starts to drop slowly.
While
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 the next 5 there was a steady increase.
Moreover
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, there has been a sharp drop from 1985 to 2000.

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task response
Give a clear main view of all three lines. Say that hamburgers and pizza went up, while fish and chips went down after an early high point.
task response
Add key numbers and years from the graph. For example, compare the start, the high point, and the end for each food type. This will make your ideas more clear and complete.
task response
Check facts closely. Fish and chips did not only fall at the start: it first went down, then rose a little, and then fell a lot. Explain this order clearly.
task response
Use correct names for the graph. Write 'amount of fast food eaten' or 'number of times eaten', not 'how much and the three different types of fast food used'.
coherence and cohesion
Use four clear parts: an introduction, an overall view, one body part for hamburgers and pizza, and one body part for fish and chips.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph on one main idea. Put hamburgers and pizza together because both rise, then write about fish and chips in a separate paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words in the right way: 'from 1975 to 1985', 'then', 'after that', 'by 2000', and 'in contrast'.
coherence and cohesion
Make sentences complete and easy to follow. For example, change 'there were gradually climb' to 'pizza and hamburgers climbed slowly'.
task response
You wrote an overall view and noticed the main change: hamburgers rose a lot, while fish and chips fell by the end.
task response
You included all three food types: hamburgers, pizza, and fish and chips.
coherence and cohesion
You tried to group pizza and hamburgers together, which is a good way to compare lines with a similar rise.
coherence and cohesion
You used time words such as 'from 1975 to 1984' and 'in the last five years' to show the order of changes.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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