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Band 5.5

Some people believe that university education should be free for everyone, regardless of their financial background. Others argue that students should pay for their own education. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
A large number of people are in favour of free
University
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education
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 without considering the financial situation of the person.
Whereas
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 others believe that
education
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 should be paid for.
This
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 essay, in the upcoming paragraphs, will discuss both views with appropriate examples
as well as
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 my personal opinion.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, free
university
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education
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 provides a great chance for learners from middle-class or lower-class families to gain ground in the fields they want to choose their career.
This
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 will improve their financial status and can provide them with a chance to gain better qualifications without the stress of finances.
For example
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, a girl from a lower section of society graduated with financial help from the
university
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, as she was religiously devoted towards her studies. She graduated with good grades and is a lawyer now. Her family is living a better life because of the help she got from the
university
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.
Therefore
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, free
education
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 can provide society equal level of knowledge to live a better life and encourage deserving candidates to get jobs in essential professions regardless of their financial background.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, fully free
education
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 can make
students
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 more lenient toward their studies. If the student does not pay anything to get higher
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education
Punctuation problem
education,
show examples
then
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 they would not know the value of attending the lectures.
This
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 might bring out more
students
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 to skip their classes and spend time with their friends. An example
that is
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 worth mentioning here is that one guy was provided free
education
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 because of his excellent academic performance, after
few
Add an article
a few
show examples
weeks
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weeks,
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 his attendance dropped. He started spending time in cafes or playgrounds
instead
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 of attending classes, which made his performance drop as well. So, it can be inferred that completely free
education
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 can distract
students
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 as they lose the fear of losing money in case of their failure.
Body paragraph 3
In my opinion,
students
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 should pay at least some amount of money to get their higher studies done.
This
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 is because cheaper
education
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 can be affordable for every section of society
and
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, and
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students
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 can get equal access to
education
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 at a fair cost without
students
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 feeling distracted. They will always have a thought that they paid a certain amount to gain
education
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.
Conclusion
To conclude
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, it can be said that affordable
education
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 is the most appropriate way to help
out
Verb problem
apply
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all the
students
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 without any consequence. As the idea of completely free
education
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 comes with certain pros and cons, I believe a sensible amount of fees should be charged from every individual who is seeking higher
education
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.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view. Make your main view even clearer in the first part. Say that university should not be fully free, but it should cost less and help should be given to those in need.
task response
Some ideas need more care. The point that free study makes students less serious is not always true. Explain why this may happen, and also say that rules on work and attendance can stop it.
task response
Your examples are clear, but they feel made up and very personal. Use more general examples, such as aid for poor students, loans, or lower fees in public universities.
task response
The last part repeats your view well. You could make it stronger by saying who should pay less and how the state can help students from poor homes.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: first one view, then the other view, then your view. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use fewer long opening phrases, such as 'This essay, in the upcoming paragraphs'. Start in a more direct way. This will make your writing sound more natural.
coherence and cohesion
Link words such as 'To begin with', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude' are used well. Add links within paragraphs too, such as 'As a result', 'For this reason', and 'However', when they show the exact link between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same words for key ideas. You use 'free education', 'fully free education', and 'completely free education'. This is fine, but use one main form more often so the point stays clear.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you explain why free university can help poor students, why some people want students to pay, and what you think.
task response
Your main idea about lower fees and fair help for all is clear and fits the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main idea, an explanation, and an example.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction gives the topic and the conclusion clearly brings the essay to an end.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • higher education
  • tuition fees
  • financial background
  • equal access to education
  • low-income families
  • academic potential
  • public funding
  • taxpayer burden
  • long-term investment
  • skilled workforce
  • social mobility
  • graduate employment
  • student debt
  • income-based repayment
  • government grants
  • subsidised tuition
  • essential professions
  • maintain educational standards
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