IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 9

Some companies have banned employees from checking work emails outside of official working hours to protect their private lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
A number of firms now forbid their staff from reading or answering messages once the official working day has ended, in order to safeguard their personal time.
While
Linking Words
 I accept that certain roles require occasional availability in the evening, I largely agree with
this
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 policy because constant connection exhausts employees, and a clear boundary ultimately serves the business
as well as
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 the individual.
Body paragraph 1
Admittedly, the case against
such
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 restrictions is not without merit. The most obvious point is that some industries operate across time zones, so a manager in Casablanca dealing with clients in Shanghai may need to respond at night to secure a contract. In Morocco,
for instance
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, export companies that ignored overseas enquiries until the next morning have lost orders to faster competitors. Closely linked to
this
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 is the preference of many professionals for flexibility, since a parent who leaves early to collect children often prefers to finish tasks after dinner
instead
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 of being prevented from doing so.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
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, the harm caused by an always-on culture far exceeds these inconveniences. The most important reason is that the human mind needs genuine rest to perform well, and a worker who checks the inbox at midnight sleeps poorly, returns tired and makes more mistakes the following day. Moroccan call centres,
for example
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, recorded a sharp drop in sick leave after they switched off company phones at eight o'clock, and,
consequently
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, productivity rose even though total hours fell.
Moreover
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, family relationships suffer when one partner is permanently distracted by a screen, which eventually affects morale and loyalty at work. In my view,
therefore
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, protecting private hours is an investment in a healthier and more committed workforce.
Conclusion
In conclusion, a few urgent situations may justify an evening reply, yet the routine expectation of availability damages both health and performance. On balance, I believe that employers who enforce a digital curfew will gain more than they lose.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start and stays the same. To make it even stronger, say more about how a company can allow real urgent work while still giving staff private time.
task response
Your examples fit your points well. Make sure that facts about firms and work places are true, or write them as clear possible cases rather than as proven facts.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow: you give the other side, then your main view, and end with a clear final point. Keep this plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words such as “Admittedly”, “Nevertheless”, “Moreover”, and “therefore” guide the reader well. Do not add more links just for style; your use is already natural.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one clear focus. The first is about cases where after-hours work may help, and the next is about rest, health, and work results. This makes your ideas clear.
task response
You answer the full question and give a clear view: you mostly support the ban but accept that some jobs need rare evening contact.
task response
Your main reasons are well explained: poor rest can lead to worse work, and private time can help staff stay loyal and well.
coherence and cohesion
Your opening gives a clear map of the essay, and your final paragraph returns directly to your main view.
coherence and cohesion
The move from the other view to your own view is smooth and clear, especially with “Nevertheless”.
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