IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Governments should focus their financial spending on public services like healthcare and education rather than investing in space exploration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

8.5 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
It is often argued that national budgets should be devoted to hospitals and schools
instead
Linking Words
 of being spent on missions beyond the Earth.
While
Linking Words
 I accept that research in orbit has produced valuable discoveries, I largely agree with
this
Linking Words
 view because basic services affect every citizen directly, and the returns from astronomy arrive too slowly for countries still struggling with poverty.
Body paragraph 1
Admittedly, the case for funding space programmes is not without merit. The most obvious point is that the technology developed for rockets and satellites eventually improves ordinary life, so weather forecasting, navigation and even medical scanners owe their existence to
such
Linking Words
 projects. Morocco,
for instance
Linking Words
, launched its own observation satellite in 2017, which now helps farmers monitor drought and allows the authorities to map illegal construction. Closely linked to
this
Linking Words
 is national prestige, since a successful mission inspires young people to study science and attracts foreign partners.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, these advantages cannot justify diverting money from urgent human needs. The most important reason is that a clinic or a classroom changes lives immediately,
whereas
Linking Words
 an exploration programme may take decades to deliver any benefit at all. In rural Morocco,
for example
Linking Words
, thousands of children still walk several kilometres to overcrowded schools without heating, and,
consequently
Linking Words
, many girls abandon their education before secondary level. If even a fraction of the sums spent on launches were redirected to
such
Linking Words
 villages, literacy rates would rise within a single generation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, wealthy nations and private companies already lead space research, meaning that developing countries gain little by competing with them. In my view,
therefore
Linking Words
, a government's first duty is to the well-being of its people on the ground.
Conclusion
In conclusion, discoveries made far above the atmosphere have their uses, yet they remain a luxury for nations whose hospitals and schools are underfunded. On balance, public money should serve the public first.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
State your main view even more clearly in the first paragraph. You largely agree, but you can say that health and school spending should come first, while some space work can still be paid for when basic needs are met.
task response
Your ideas are well explained. To make the view more complete, say more about which countries should spend less on space, and which rich countries may be able to do both.
task response
The examples are useful and fit your main point. Make sure each example is easy to check and fully linked to the point you are making.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: a main view, the other side, your reasons, and an ending. Keep this strong shape in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
The links between ideas are clear. You can use a few fewer linking words such as “moreover” and “consequently” when the meaning is already clear, so the writing feels more natural.
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph gives a clear final view. You could make it slightly stronger by repeating the key reason: public services help people now, especially where basic needs are not met.
task response
You answer the full question and give a clear view from the start to the end.
task response
You explain both sides before showing why you support one side more strongly.
task response
Your points about daily needs, poverty, schools, and health are clear and well supported by examples.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one clear job, and the ideas move in a logical order.
coherence and cohesion
Your opening and ending match well, so the essay feels complete.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “admittedly,” “nevertheless,” and “for example” help the reader follow your argument.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: