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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, more people are choosing to buy second-hand products, such as clothes, furniture and electronic devices, instead of buying new ones. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

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Introduction
In recent years, there has been a growing trend among individuals to prefer buying a second-hand product rather than a new one. Affordability could be
consider
Wrong verb form
considered
show examples
 to be an advantage for
this
Linking Words
 trend.
However
Linking Words
, new
items
Use synonyms
 tend to live longer than used
ones
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
A prime benefit of
this
Linking Words
 shift is that used
items
Use synonyms
 are cheaper than new
products
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because they are already used by someone, which contributes to decreasing the item's price.
In other words
Linking Words
, second-hand cars
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 very popular among
university's
Check wording
university
show examples
 students, mainly because these cars are easy to afford. To illustrate, when people move on to a new house, they are more likely to look for used beds or
coaches
Use the right word
couches
show examples
 because they are more cost-effective than new
ones
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 demonstrates a benefit of
this
Linking Words
 growing shift to prefer buying second-hand
items
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
One major drawback of
this
Linking Words
 trend is that new-brand
products
Use synonyms
 tend to
last
Linking Words
 longer than the used
ones
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because, when people buy a second-hand
Use synonyms
items
Rephrase
item,
 they do not know how the previous owner was using it;
this
Linking Words
 may
may rise
Verb problem
raise
show examples
 a concern about the item's lifetime.
Furtehrmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, by buying new
items
Use synonyms
, consumers will be more confident about the product; is that it will
last
Linking Words
 for an extended period. To give a clear example, a recent study in the UK indicates that the majority of used
products
Use synonyms
 tend to
last
Linking Words
 for less than a year.
This
Linking Words
 explains a serious issue of buying
products
Use synonyms
 that are already being used.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 buying
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 used item can be convenient for numerous individuals, second-hand
products
Use synonyms
 usually
last
Linking Words
 for shorter periods than new
ones
Use synonyms
.

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Task response
You answer both parts of the question: lower cost is a good point, and shorter life is a bad point. To make your ideas stronger, add one more clear benefit, such as less waste or lower harm to the earth.
Task response
Explain the main ideas more fully. For example, say how buying used clothes or furniture can stop useful things from being thrown away.
Task response
Your examples fit the topic, but some are too general. The UK study is not explained enough and may not be true. Use a clear real-life example instead, such as a student who buys a used laptop but has to pay for repairs soon after.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part form: an opening, one good point, one bad point, and an ending. Keep this form.
Coherence and cohesion
Make the first sentence of each main paragraph state the key idea in a direct way. Then explain it and give one example. This will make the flow easier to follow.
Coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words like “This is because”, “For example”, and “As a result” can help show the link between your ideas. Do not repeat “This demonstrates” and “This explains” too often.
Coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because of grammar and word form problems. For example, write “second-hand cars are popular with university students” and “used items” rather than “a second-hand items.” Clearer sentences will make the links between ideas stronger.
Task response
You give a clear advantage and a clear disadvantage, and both stay on the topic of second-hand goods.
Task response
The examples of cars, beds, and furniture help show that you understand different kinds of second-hand products.
Coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph focuses on one main point, so the reader can follow your answer easily.
Coherence and cohesion
The ending brings both sides together and gives a clear final view.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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