IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

some companies have uniform for their staff which must be warn at all the times. what are the advantages for a company having a uniform.Are their benefits of having uniform for their staff.

2.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
In
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 days, a lot of
companis
Correct your spelling
companies
 have
Use synonyms
uniform
Check wording
uniforms
show examples
 for their
employies
Correct your spelling
employees
.
This
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a lot of advantages. For staff,
markating
Correct your spelling
marketing
 and how compani loof from
out
Check wording
the outside
show examples
. To
begain
Correct your spelling
begin
 with,
Use synonyms
uniform
Check wording
apply
show examples
stop the talk about
cloueas
Correct your spelling
clothes
. I mean not all
emploies
Correct your spelling
employees
 in the same financial
setuation
Correct your spelling
situation
.
such
Linking Words
 as, some of
tham
Correct your spelling
them do
 not have
moeany
Correct your spelling
money
 to
bay
Correct your spelling
buy
 new
cloueas
Correct your spelling
clothes
.
that
Capitalize the word
That
show examples
 will make all
emploies
Correct your spelling
employees
 in the same.
Body paragraph 1
Frome
Correct your spelling
From
 another
prospactive
Correct your spelling
perspective
, that will
gave compaine
Rephrase
give the company
 some
of orgnaization
Rephrase
organisation
.
Linking Words
for
Capitalize the word
For
show examples
 example,
such
Linking Words
 one of employ now where he go and
what
Verb problem
do what
show examples
 work he should do because
Linking Words
such teem
Rephrase
the team
 in
companie
Correct your spelling
the company
 has
spicial
Correct your spelling
a special
uniform
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, it gave
companie spicial
Correct your spelling
the company a special
 and
spesphic nashional
Correct your spelling
specific national
 look that
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 your work
stay in brine
Verb problem
stand out
show examples
 because
nashinal look
Check wording
apply
show examples
it
important
Verb problem
is important
show examples
 and
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
 the
makating
Correct your spelling
marketing
.
Conclusion
In the end,
uniform
Use synonyms
 not just
clouse
Correct your spelling
clothes
 or
thaing
Correct your spelling
things
 we ware it, it is part of our work
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it can improve our
markating
Correct your spelling
marketing
 and
organization
Change the spelling
organisation
show examples
.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 it
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
 the
envirnoment
Correct your spelling
environment
 for
emploies
Correct your spelling
employees
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task response
You answer both parts of the task. You give reasons for staff and for the company. Add more detail to each reason, so the reader can clearly see how uniforms help.
Task response
Your main ideas are fair: uniforms can stop worry about clothes, make work clear, and help the company look known. Explain each idea with one clear example.
Task response
Use examples that are easy to understand. For example, say that a shop worker in uniform is easy for a customer to find, or that staff do not need to buy work clothes every day.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an opening, two main parts, and an ending. This is a good basic plan. Make each main part start with one clear topic sentence.
Coherence and cohesion
Put ideas in a more clear order. First write about staff, then write about the company. Do not put too many different ideas in one long sentence.
Coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words in a clear way: 'First', 'Also', 'For example', and 'In the end'. Make sure the sentence after a linking word gives support for the point.
Coherence and cohesion
Some parts are hard to follow because key words are not clear, such as the part about a 'national look' and marketing. Say exactly what you mean: a uniform can make a company easy to know and can help customers trust it.
Task response
You stay on the subject and give benefits of uniforms for both workers and companies.
Task response
You include useful ideas about equal treatment, work order, and the company image.
Coherence and cohesion
You use paragraph breaks and clear signals such as 'To begin with', 'For example', and 'In the end'.
Coherence and cohesion
Your ending brings back the main ideas about marketing, work order, and staff.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: