IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You want to learn a foreign language to help you in your work. A teacher near where you live is offering lessons in this language. Write a letter to this teacher. In your letter Say how you heard about the language lessons Explain how learning this language will help you in your work Ask some questions about the lessons

4.5 / 9
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Dear Mrs. Tran I’m writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to apply for a
language
Use synonyms
 course. I am preparing to find a job
and
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, and
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 I want to get a well-paid job.
Besides
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 that, I
also
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 want to have opportunities to develop any professional growth. I have
been
Wrong verb form
apply
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heard about your
language
Use synonyms
 lessons from my friends
and
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, and
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 people learned with you.
According to
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 them, your
language
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 lessons are very useful
and
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, and
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 you are very kind. I
decide
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decided
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 to apply for
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English
Add an article
an English
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 course. I find that, today
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English
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, English
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 is an international
language
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 and it is considered
as
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apply
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a second
language
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 after one’s native
language
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. If I have good knowledge
about
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of
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English
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, I will apply
a
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for a
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job at
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
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 company.
English
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 will help me
communication
Replace the word
communicate
 better with foreigners regarding work-related matters and
can
Correct pronoun usage
I can
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 do work more easily. I have some questions about the lessons: first
at
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of
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 all, how much is the tuition for a course? And how many people are there in the class?
Second,
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what is your class schedule like?
Finally
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, do you offer tutoring for beginners? I am looking forward to learning from you soon. Thank you very much! Sincerely Mr. Thach

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task response
Answer all parts more clearly. Say the name of the language, why it is needed for your work, and ask clear questions about time, cost, class size, and help for new learners.
task response
Use a more polite work letter style. For example, write “I would like to join your English course” and “Could you please tell me...?”
coherence and cohesion
Use short paragraphs: one for why you are writing, one for how English will help at work, and one for your questions.
coherence and cohesion
Put ideas in a clear order. Start with how you heard about the lessons, then explain your work need, and then ask your questions.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words such as “First”, “Also”, “Because”, “Finally”, and “Thank you” to help the reader follow your letter.
task response
You say how you heard about the lessons, explain why English is useful for work, and ask several useful questions.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear greeting, a polite ending, and the questions are easy to find.
Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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