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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that what individuals do to protect the environment cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect the environment. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Some groups of
people
Use synonyms
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different views about protecting the
Use synonyms
environments
Check wording
environment
show examples
. The first group says that citizens'
actions
Use synonyms
 to protect their
environment
Use synonyms
 cannot make any
change
Use synonyms
. The other one
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
show examples
 the opposite of
this
Linking Words
. Personally, I support the other group that citizens are able to protect their
environment
Use synonyms
 from
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
' peoblems
Correct your spelling
problems
 by changing their habits.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, some
people
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 do good
actions
Use synonyms
 toward their
environment
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 as
means
Add an article
a means
show examples
 of protection, but these
actions
Use synonyms
 do not make any
change
Use synonyms
 in the
Use synonyms
climate
Correct word order
negative problems of climate change
show examples
change
Use synonyms
's negative problems towards our
Use synonyms
environments
Check wording
environment
show examples
. Generally, some
people
Use synonyms
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
behaviors
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behaviour
show examples
 toward their streets' cleanness. They do not throw away their
waste
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 anywhere
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can cause pollution in our seas and water, if they throw their
waste
Use synonyms
 near
occians
Correct your spelling
oceans
. Alternatively, they throw their
waste
Use synonyms
 in
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
appropriate places,
such
Linking Words
 as
trash
Use synonyms
 baskets. Unfortunately,
this
Linking Words
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not protect the
environment
Use synonyms
 as they think.
This
Linking Words
 is because pollution can come from
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
waste
Use synonyms
 but in other
way
Check wording
ways
show examples
.
These
Fix the agreement mistake
This
show examples
trash
Use synonyms
,
accoarding
Correct your spelling
according
 to Greta Thunberg in her
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate
Use synonyms
 book
that
Correct word choice
,
show examples
 some governments
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
England
Punctuation problem
England,
show examples
 send their
waste
Use synonyms
 gradually to some Asian countries to burn
them
Fix the agreement mistake
it
show examples
. They gather the whole
waste
Use synonyms
 in one empty
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
outdoor
location
Punctuation problem
location,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 they are burning them.
This
Linking Words
 is a problem for our
environment
Use synonyms
, because
this
Linking Words
 burning can result
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 CO2 in our atmosphere. Afterwards,
this
Linking Words
 can increase the possibility of
floods
Use synonyms
occuring
Correct your spelling
occurring
 in the future. These
floods
Use synonyms
 are able to affect our
environment
Use synonyms
 negatively in some places. So,
trash
Use synonyms
wasting is still can
Correct word order
waste can still
show examples
 harm our
Use synonyms
environments
Check wording
environment
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are able to protect
our
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
environments
Use synonyms
 by changing their habits.
Envitably
Correct your spelling
Inevitably
,
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
 is a generational problem
that is
Linking Words
 able to harm our
Use synonyms
environments
Check wording
environment
show examples
 with
floods
Use synonyms
. These
floods
Use synonyms
 can damage habitats of plants and houses near
occians
Correct your spelling
oceans
,
this
Linking Words
happen
Correct subject-verb agreement
happens
show examples
as a result
Linking Words
 of
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
 somewhere.
Climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
 itself increases its severity
with
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 CO2
increasing
Wrong verb form
increases
show examples
 in our atmosphere.
This
Linking Words
 is
causing daily from
Correct word order
caused by people's
show examples
people
Use synonyms
actions
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
cars
Use synonyms
 that
powered
Verb problem
are powered
show examples
 by
fuels
Check wording
fuel
show examples
. These
cars
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 use daily for various reasons. But they
emitt
Correct your spelling
emit
 carbon
dixoide
Correct your spelling
dioxide
 with every movement. So,
people
Use synonyms
 can be able to
change
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 and save our
Use synonyms
environments
Check wording
environment
show examples
 from
floods
Use synonyms
occuring
Correct your spelling
occurring
 in the future.
This
Linking Words
 can
happpen
Correct your spelling
happen
 with abandon use these
cars
Use synonyms
 and find alternatives
such
Linking Words
 as electric
cars
Use synonyms
. These electric
cars
Use synonyms
 are
CO2 free
Correct your spelling
CO2-free
,
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
so
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 if
people
Use synonyms
 increased using these
cars
Use synonyms
, CO2
emitting
Replace the word
emissions
 might decrease more than before.
As a result
Linking Words
, the possibility of
floods
Use synonyms
occuring
Correct your spelling
occurring
 in the future might
decrease
Correct word order
also decrease, as well as the
show examples
also
Linking Words
 problems
that cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
 by them.
This
Linking Words
what
Verb problem
is what
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are able to do to save our
Use synonyms
environments
Check wording
environment
show examples
.
Conclusion
In my
opnion
Correct your spelling
opinion
,
although
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 do some good
actions
Use synonyms
 as a means of
protection
Replace the word
protecting
 our
Use synonyms
environments
Check wording
environment
show examples
,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
trash
Use synonyms
 burning is still
hapening
Correct your spelling
happening
 and harming our
Use synonyms
environments
Check wording
environment
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, they can save our
Use synonyms
environments
Check wording
environment
show examples
 from
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 replacing their
using
Replace the word
use
 of
cars
Use synonyms
 that
powered
Verb problem
are powered
show examples
 by
fuels
Check wording
fuel
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 can decrease CO2 in our atmosphere
Correct word choice
, and
show examples
also
Linking Words
climate
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
change's
Check wording
change
show examples
 problems that harm our
Use synonyms
environments
Check wording
environment
show examples
.

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task response
You discuss both views and give your own view. However, explain the first view more fairly. People may think one person cannot change a world problem because big firms and states make much of the CO2. Then clearly show why many small actions can still matter.
task response
Keep your main idea close to the question. The part about one country sending waste to Asia is very long and hard to prove. Use a simple, clear example instead, such as people using less plastic, less power, or public travel.
task response
Make your own view strong from start to end. Say that people can help, but they also need help from firms and states. This gives a more full and fair answer.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. In each main part, use one clear point, then explain it, then give one example. Do not move from waste to floods too fast.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For example”, “As a result”, and “However” can help the reader see your plan.
coherence and cohesion
Some lines are very long and repeat the same ideas about CO2, floods, and the environment. Split long lines into short ones. This will make your meaning easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use the same key words in a clear way. For example, choose “the environment” rather than changing between “our environment”, “our environments”, and “climate change’s problems” too often.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you show both views and state your own view clearly.
task response
Your electric-car example is linked to your main point that people can change daily habits to cut CO2.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is set out in a useful order: an introduction, one part for each view, and a final opinion.
coherence and cohesion
You often show cause and result, for example from fuel cars to CO2 and then to climate change. This helps the reader follow your ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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