should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

4.5 / 9

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Introduction

There is no denying the fact that which factor matters for the individual when it comes to

choose

Wrong verb form

choosing

show examples

their

job

Use synonyms

is a crucial topic.

While

Linking Words

it is commonly held

belief

Check wording

apply

show examples

that feeling satisfied about your

job

Use synonyms

is more important, there is

also

Linking Words

an argument that says

job

Use synonyms

security

Use synonyms

is more essential, since

satisfaction

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

optional.

This

Linking Words

essay will analyse

this

Linking Words

tonic from both points of view and express my opinion.

Body paragraph 1

On one hand, employee

satisfaction

Use synonyms

about

Change preposition

with

show examples

their

job

Use synonyms

could increase their productivity.

In other words

Linking Words

, if the person is happy about

his

Fix the agreement mistake

their

show examples

work , it is normal that they will try to give their best.

In addition

Linking Words

, good environments and friendly co-workers

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

have

huge

Add an article

a huge

show examples

impact on

the

Correct article usage

show examples

person's mental health.

For example

Linking Words

, many studies on sales department staff

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

have shown

jump

Add an article

a jump

show examples

in the sales numbers was deeply linked with their happiness and

satisfaction

Use synonyms

towrds

Correct your spelling

towards

their jobs.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

Linking Words

, having a

job

Use synonyms

with

permanent

Add an article

a permanent

show examples

contract is definitely safer. It is

also

Linking Words

possible to say that you won't have to worry about getting expelled at any moment.

Moreover

Linking Words

job

Use synonyms

security

Use synonyms

will allow

Correct pronoun usage

you to

show examples

plan for your future easily.

For instance

Linking Words

, paying

Change preposition

for a

show examples

house or

piece

Add an article

a piece

show examples

of land won't be a problem if you have a constant salary.

Conclusion

In conclusion, there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

no easy answers for

this

Linking Words

question. On balance,

however

Linking Words

Fix capitalization

show examples

tend to believe that

job

Use synonyms

security

Use synonyms

should be a priority

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

for every individual who is seeking to find a

job

Use synonyms

. Unlike

satisfaction

Use synonyms

that demands you to try the environment

first,

Linking Words

security

Use synonyms

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

be noticed from the very beginning. In the end, your emotions won't

provides

Wrong verb form

provide

show examples

you with food , but your continued salary would.

as460167

Nov 6, 2026

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task response

You discuss both views and give your own view, so you answer all parts of the task. To make your ideas stronger, explain more clearly why a safe job may be more important than a job you enjoy.

task response

Your main points are clear: happy workers may work better, and a permanent job helps people plan. Add one more step of detail after each point. For example, explain how good work can lead to better pay or more chances at work.

task response

Use more careful examples. The sales example is useful, but it is too general. Give a simple real-life case, such as a worker who sells more because they like helping people.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear order: introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. Keep this plan in future essays.

coherence and cohesion

Make links between sentences smoother. Use simple links such as “This means that”, “As a result”, and “For this reason” to show how one idea leads to the next.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences are not clear because of word choice or grammar. For example, write “choosing a job” instead of “choose their job”, “satisfaction is not always possible” instead of “satisfaction is an optional”, and “being fired” instead of “getting expelled”.

coherence and cohesion

State your own view clearly in the introduction as well as in the conclusion. This will help the reader follow your main answer from the start.

task response

You cover both sides of the question and clearly choose job security as your main view.

coherence and cohesion

Each body paragraph has one main idea, and the conclusion brings your answer to a clear end.

coherence and cohesion

You use useful paragraph starters such as “On one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion”.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

4.5

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Young people committing crimes should be treated the same as adults by the authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Mast people agree that money cannot bring happiness. Why is happiness is difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think having a university degree is the best way to secure a good job. However, others believe skills and experience are more important. Discuss bot sides and give your opinion.