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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people buy products that they do not really need and replace old products with the new ones unnecessarily. Why do people buy things they do not really need? Do you think this is a good thing?

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Introduction
In modern society, more and more unnecessary
products
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 are being created, and people’s consumption habits have changed
accordingly
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. Many people buy things they do not really need, and some even replace old
products
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 with new ones for no good reason. The main causes are advertising and social pressure. Companies constantly use promotions
such
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 as “limited-time offers” to make us feel that we must buy right away, and social media makes us compare ourselves with others and want the latest
products
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. I think that excessive purchasing of unnecessary
products
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 is not a good thing, but some special situations can be exceptions.
Body paragraph 1
The first reason I oppose excessive consumption is that it wastes money that could be saved.
This
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 money could help us deal with emergencies,
such
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 as a sudden illness or the loss of a job. A person who spends all of his income on things he does not need will have nothing to fall back on in difficult times.
Second,
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it causes old
products
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 to be thrown away even though they can still be used.
For example
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, a phone that works perfectly well is often replaced simply because a new model has been released.
This
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 is not only a waste of resources but
also
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 creates more electronic waste.
Body paragraph 2
Although
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 buying an excessive amount of unnecessary
products
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 is not a good thing, buying them in moderation is not a bad thing. Sometimes it can improve our attitude toward life.
For example
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, when you finish a difficult task, you can buy something you want but do not need as a reward for yourself.
This
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 small pleasure can help us maintain a positive attitude toward work and motivate us to keep going.
Conclusion
In conclusion, excessive purchasing of unnecessary
products
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 is not a good thing, because it wastes both our money and old
products
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 that still work.
However
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, consuming unnecessary
products
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 in moderation can sometimes make our lives better.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain why people buy things they do not need, but add one more cause, such as easy online shopping or the wish to feel happy for a short time.
task response
Make your main view more direct at the start. Say clearly that this is mostly a bad thing, while small treats can sometimes be fine.
task response
Develop the point about small rewards. Explain why a small planned buy is different from buying many things without need, and give one clear example.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, reasons, the other view, and ending. Keep this clear order.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. The words “First” and “Second” work well. In the third paragraph, begin with a link such as “However” to show the change in view more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas repeat the phrase “not a good thing.” You can make the flow smoother by using short links such as “As a result,” “For this reason,” and “On the other hand.”
coherence and cohesion
The ending repeats the main ideas well. It could be stronger if it restated the key reason in a more exact way: waste of money, useful goods, and natural resources.
task response
You answer both questions: you give reasons for unnecessary buying and state a clear view that too much buying is harmful.
task response
Your examples are clear and useful, especially the working phone replaced only because a new model appears.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main job, so the reader can follow your ideas easily.
coherence and cohesion
The opening tells the reader what causes you will discuss, and the ending gives a clear final view.
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