IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Animal testing has always been controversial issue. Some people believe that governments should ban these practices completely. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
Animal testing has long been a controversial issue, with some people arguing that governments should prohibit these practices entirely.
While
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 I believe that animal experimentation should be strictly regulated to prevent unnecessary suffering, I disagree with a complete ban, as it remains important in certain areas of scientific and medical research.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, governments should control experimentation on
animals
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instead
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 of banning it completely. Animal testing plays an essential role in medical and scientific research, as it allows scientists to examine the safety and effectiveness of new medicines and treatments before they are introduced to humans. By experimenting on
animals
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, researchers can observe how living organisms respond to certain substances, identify potential side effects and determine whether a treatment is safe enough to proceed to human clinical trials.
This
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 can help prevent potentially harmful substances from reaching humans and contribute to the development of effective treatments for serious diseases.
For instance
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, some medical treatments and vaccines undergo animal testing during their development to assess their potential risks and effectiveness before human trials.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, animal testing is unnecessary in certain industries, particularly the cosmetics industry. Many cosmetic
products
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 are not essential to human health, and testing them on
animals
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 may expose these creatures to unnecessary pain and suffering. Since
such
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products
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 are primarily designed to improve people's appearance rather than treat medical conditions, subjecting
animals
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 to potentially harmful experiments cannot always be justified.
Consequently
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,
animals
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 may suffer unnecessarily for
products
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 that are not vital to human well-being.
For example
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, some cosmetic companies conduct experiments on
animals
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 to assess whether their skincare
products
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 cause irritation or allergic reactions, despite the availability of alternative testing methods.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 animal testing raises significant ethical concerns, I do not believe that it should be completely banned.
Instead
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, governments should impose strict regulations to ensure that these practices are only permitted when scientifically necessary and when alternative methods are unavailable.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start: you do not support a full ban. To make your answer stronger, say more about when tests are truly needed, such as when no other way can give the same safety result.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant and well explained. Add one more clear reason why strict rules can protect animals, for example, rules on pain, the number of animals, and care after tests.
task response
Your examples fit the topic, but they are general. Use one more real or more detailed example of a drug, vaccine, or non-animal test to make the points feel more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: your view, medical use, cosmetic use, then a final answer. Keep this strong paragraph plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
The links between ideas are clear. You can make the first body paragraph even smoother by starting it with a sentence that directly states why a full ban may be unsafe for medical work.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas repeat the point that animals may suffer. You could use that space to explain how strict rules would work, so each sentence adds a new point.
task response
You answer the whole question and give a clear, balanced view. You explain why medical tests may still be needed and why cosmetic tests are harder to support.
task response
The reasons are easy to follow: safety before human trials, the need to treat serious illness, and the fact that beauty products are not as important.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, and the opening and closing both clearly show your position.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For instance”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your argument.
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