IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
Some people believe that the primary goal of
science
Use synonyms
 is
strengthening
Wrong verb form
to strengthen
show examples
 human well-being. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 view, as scientific progress in medicine and technology directly benefits society, and basic research should not be ignored.
Body paragraph 1
The main
achieves
Replace the word
achievements
 of
science
Use synonyms
is making improve
Rephrase
are improving
 human
lifetime
Check wording
life expectancy
show examples
.
Science
Use synonyms
 is funded by resources and tax money;
therefore
Linking Words
, it should benefit society. As vaccines, antibiotics,
clean
Correct word choice
and clean
show examples
 water technologies
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
increase
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
life expectancy. So that means,
this
Linking Words
 is the most important foundation of
science
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
Some scientific fields do not give
quickly benefits
Correct word order
benefits quickly
show examples
, but they still need to be supported. Basic research can
be
Verb problem
lead to
show examples
 practical discoveries. Electricity and quantum physics were
initially
Linking Words
 theoretical; later, computers and telephones were created.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the benefit should not be just short-term; long-term outcomes must
also
Linking Words
 be taken into account.
Conclusion
In conclusion, improving human lives should be the central aim of
science
Use synonyms
, but supporting poor research is
also
Linking Words
 essential, as it often
become
Verb problem
leads
show examples
 to future benefits.

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task response
Your view is clear: you agree that science should make life better. To make the answer stronger, explain more clearly why this aim is more important than other aims, such as learning about the world.
task response
Develop the first main point more. Explain how clean water, drugs, and vaccines help people live longer and have safer lives.
task response
Your second point is useful, but the phrase “poor research” is not clear. Say “basic research” or “research with no clear use at first”. Show more clearly how it can help people in the future.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, two main parts, and ending. Keep this shape, but make the link between the two main parts clearer: both short-term help and long-term research can improve human lives.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are not complete or are hard to follow. For example, change “As vaccines, antibiotics, clean water technologies to increase in life expectancy” to “Vaccines, antibiotics, and clean-water systems increase life expectancy.”
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. “Therefore” and “So” are used well in places, but make sure each one follows a full, clear reason. Avoid “So that means” because it sounds less formal.
task response
You answer the full question and give a clear opinion from the start.
task response
The examples of vaccines, antibiotics, clean water, electricity, and quantum physics are on topic and help support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one main idea, which makes the essay easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The ending repeats your main view and also keeps the important point about future benefits.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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