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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people prefer Some people prefer to be self-employed, whereas others like working for companies or institutions. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches Which is a better approach?

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Introduction
While
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 some people argue about which is better, being self-employed or working for a company. So, these two sides have some advantages and some disadvantages.
Also
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,
this
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 argument made divergence even though I think the answer is clear.
That is
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 what I will discuss in
this
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 essay.
Body paragraph 1
After thinking deeply, I know why somebody likes to be self-employed. The reason is that they just want to organise their time by themselves.
Furthermore
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, they think that they can do every effort alone, but I think that it is harder than working with society.
Also
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,
this
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 type just sees the successful body, but they do not see deeply into the process or the years that these effective people took to succeed.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, the simple, I mean the human, who wants to perform for a firm.
This
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 type is the majority of humans, and I observed, they want only a simple life, they do not want to be extremely rich or extremely poor, they want to be in the middle, and have a content job.
Body paragraph 3
Overall
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, you can succeed when you assignment alone, and
then
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 you will feel comfortable, but there is an adventure. But, if you want a content and peaceful life like most, just work for a community, and they give you the salary and the time which you need to spend with them.
Conclusion
In conclusion, working for a company nor be self-employed, it is your choice.
In addition
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, you need to look deeply into the mistakes or issues you will face when you want to venture into
this
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 method, despite the fact that there are many people who have succeeded, and now they are comfortable. But, for me, I prefer working for a community, because it is more content in my life.

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task response
Answer all parts of the question in a clear way. Explain the good and bad sides of self-employment and company work. Then clearly say which one is better and why.
task response
Give more full ideas. For self-employment, you can write about free time and being your own boss, but also risk, less money at first, and long hours. For company work, write about steady pay and support, but less freedom.
task response
Use real or clear made-up examples to show your points. For example, a shop owner may choose work hours, but may lose money when few people buy. A company worker may get paid every month, but cannot choose all work times.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main part about one idea. Use one part for self-employment and one part for company work. In each part, give one good point, one bad point, and an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words in a clear way: “First,” “However,” “For example,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion.” Do not start too many sentences with “Also” or “But.”
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the meaning is not clear. For example, change “working with society” to “working with other people in a company.” Keep sentences short and direct.
coherence and cohesion
Your ending should repeat your choice in a clear way. Say why company work is better for you, such as steady pay, set hours, and a more safe life.
task response
You give your own view: you prefer working for a company because it can give a more calm life.
task response
You mention an important good point of self-employment: people can plan their own time.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a beginning, two main parts, and an ending. This gives the reader a basic path through your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You use some useful link words, such as “Furthermore,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion.”
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomy
  • benefits
  • career progression
  • flexible schedule
  • financial planning
  • entrepreneurial
  • job security
  • networking opportunities
  • work-life balance
  • unpredictable income
  • self-discipline
  • risk tolerance
  • employee benefits
  • corporate ladder
  • professional development
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