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Band 6

the chart below gives information about the amount of time children spend with their parents.

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the chart below gives information about the amount of time children spend with their parents.
The graph presents the amount of
time
Use synonyms
 that the
children
Use synonyms
 spend with their family on the weekend and
weekday
Check wording
weekdays
show examples
 across different age groups.
Overall
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 spend their
time
Use synonyms
 in three different ways.
That is
Linking Words
 spending
time
Use synonyms
 with
mom
Use synonyms
, with dad and both
mom
Use synonyms
 and dad. On the
weekend
Punctuation problem
weekend,
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 most
children
Use synonyms
 spend their
time
Use synonyms
 with
Use synonyms
mom
Correct determiner usage
their mom
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
of
Change preposition
among
show examples
 all ages,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 blue bar that represents
time
Use synonyms
 with
mom
Use synonyms
 is the longest, taking about 4-5
hours
Use synonyms
. And
time
Use synonyms
 spent with dad is the shortest, taking 1-2
hours
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 spend a little bit more
time
Use synonyms
 with their parents than only their
mom
Use synonyms
 for 1-2
hours
Use synonyms
 on the weekends, as shown by the large red bar is a little bit longer than the blue bar. The same as the weekdays,
children
Use synonyms
 spend less
time
Use synonyms
 with their father, which increases
between
Change preposition
by
show examples
 0-2
hours
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
children
Use synonyms
 on weekdays are dominated by spending their
time
Use synonyms
 with their mother,
while
Linking Words
 on the
weekends
Punctuation problem
weekends,
show examples
 most
children
Use synonyms
 spend their
time
Use synonyms
 with both parents.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, children, mom, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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