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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart illustrates the proportion of persons who are captured and the bar chart illustrates the reason why they are captured in the five years ending 1994 .

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The pie chart illustrates the proportion of persons who are captured and the bar chart illustrates the reason why they are captured in the five years ending 1994 .
The pie chart illustrates the proportion of persons who are captured
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the bar chart illustrates the
reason
Use synonyms
 why they are captured in the five years ending 1994.
This
Linking Words
 report aims to summarise the key trends, significant comparisons, and notable changes highlighted in the data.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the
females
Use synonyms
 who
not
Verb problem
were not
show examples
 arrested experienced a marked increase, with the highest value represented in the
females
Use synonyms
 who
did
Verb problem
were
show examples
 not
be arreted
Wrong verb form
arrested
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the
females
Use synonyms
 who
arrested
Verb problem
were arrested
show examples
 represented the smallest. Another notable trend is that the male who
not
Verb problem
are not
show examples
 arrested and
Use synonyms
females
Add an article
the females
show examples
 who
not
Verb problem
are not
show examples
 arrested has almost identical percentages.
Initially
Linking Words
, the
reason
Use synonyms
 for public drinking
of
Change preposition
among
show examples
females
Use synonyms
 accounted for around 37%, making it the highest among all categories.
This
Linking Words
 is followed by the
reason
Use synonyms
 for public drinking of males, which represents approximately 30%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the contribution of males who
not
Verb problem
do not
show examples
 answer is relatively insignificant, with a percentage of only around 4%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a noticeable trend is the uniformity between the
Use synonyms
reason
Check wording
reasons
show examples
 of
females
Use synonyms
 who
theft
Verb problem
commit theft
show examples
 and breach of order, which both show similar growth patterns.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the data highlighted the proportion of persons who are captured and the
reason
Use synonyms
 why they are captured, with the most significant features standing out.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words reason, females with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Incarceration
  • Proportion
  • Pie chart
  • Bar chart
  • Demographic data
  • Socioeconomic factors
  • Correctional facilities
  • Legislation
  • Criminal justice system
  • Crime rate
  • Felony
  • Misdemeanor
  • Recidivism
  • Deterrence
  • Rehabilitation
  • Policy makers
  • Law enforcement agencies
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