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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the graph below shows the average number of movies seen in a theater per year, by age group. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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the graph below shows the average number of movies seen in a theater per year, by age group. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
the
Capitalize the word
The
show examples
 graph
show that
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows the
show examples
 average
of
Check wording
number of
show examples
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 watch
movie
Check wording
movies
show examples
 in theater/
Use synonyms
year
Punctuation problem
year,
show examples
 based on age. of
people
Use synonyms
 there are 3 different
group of age
Correct word order
age groups
show examples
.
we
Capitalize the word
We
show examples
 can see
at
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the graph that
people
Use synonyms
 aged 45-65 watched the highest number of movies,
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
 like 15 per
year
Use synonyms
, and
then
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2005
dow tp
Correct your spelling
down to
 13/
year
Use synonyms
 and 12 in 2010. before
droping
Correct your spelling
dropping
 like 4 in 2015
similiar
Correct your spelling
Similarly
,the age 25-44 were down
waid
Correct your spelling
with a downward
 trend in 2000 movies
watch
Wrong verb form
watched
show examples
 12/
year
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
then at
Rephrase
Then in
 2005
fell
Correct pronoun usage
it fell
show examples
down
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to 10
I
Punctuation problem
, I
show examples
+ the decreused to 7 in 2010
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 just 5 in 2015 contrast with the youngest group (18-24) slowed a relative
strable
Correct your spelling
stable
. found out that increased from 10
people
Use synonyms
/
year
Use synonyms
 in 2000 to 12
people
Use synonyms
/
year
Use synonyms
 in 2005, and
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2010
theres
Correct subject-verb agreement
there were
show examples
 still
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 12
people
Use synonyms
/
Use synonyms
year
Punctuation problem
year,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 rose again
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2015
10
Change preposition
to 10
show examples
people
Use synonyms
/
year
Use synonyms

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • age group
  • average number
  • theater
  • per year
  • trends
  • noticeable
  • fluctuations
  • significant differences
  • similarities
  • patterns
  • younger
  • older
  • respectively
  • period
  • shown in the graph
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