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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people prefer to live with a roommate. Others prefer to live alone. Compare the advantages of each choice. Which of these two options do you prefer? Use specific reasons to support your answer

3.5 / 9
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Introduction
Nowadays, more and more people think about whether to live
solitary
Correct word choice
alone
show examples
 or with
Use synonyms
roommate
Add an article
a roommate
show examples
. There are many advantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 both sides, but I think the benefits of living alone are more essential and can easily outweigh the advantages of living with
Use synonyms
roommate
Add an article
a roommate
show examples
.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, when you live with
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
people
Punctuation problem
people,
show examples
 it can be very beneficial, because you are responsible for how you look or how your room looks, because it is not good
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 when your room looks like a farm.
Other
Correct determiner usage
Another
show examples
 benefit of living with
Use synonyms
roommate
Add an article
a roommate
show examples
 is safety.
For instance
Linking Words
, you can start
choaking
Correct your spelling
choking
 every moment
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 if you do not have another person in
Add an article
the apartment
show examples
apartment
Punctuation problem
apartment,
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 it can be fatal for you, but your friend will always help you.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, when you
split
Verb problem
share
show examples
 your apartment with
someone
Punctuation problem
someone,
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 you have no own space.
For example
Linking Words
, you had a very bad day and you
tired
Verb problem
are tired
show examples
, but your friend
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
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 to listen to music or to play
game
Add an article
a game
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, it can be very exhausting for you, but if you live alone, you have no
such
Linking Words
 problem. The other benefit of living alone is family. If you try to build your own family, you need to have space
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 your wife and child
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it would be strange if you live with
Use synonyms
roommate
Add an article
a roommate
show examples
.
Conclusion
To sum up
Linking Words
, I want to say that there are many benefits and drawbacks of both sides, but
advantages
Add an article
the advantages
show examples
 of solitary living are more essential for me

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Task response
You answer all parts of the question: you compare both choices and give a clear choice. To make your answer stronger, explain each main idea in more detail. For example, say how living alone gives you quiet time, freedom, and more control of your home.
Task response
Your examples are useful, especially the safety example and the example of a bad day. However, some ideas need to be more clear. The point about having a wife and child does not fully show why living alone is better now. Explain that living with a roommate may make it hard to have privacy with a partner or family.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, one side, the other side, and conclusion. Keep this order, but make each paragraph focus on one or two clear ideas only.
Coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. For example: “One advantage of living with a roommate is shared costs.” “Another benefit is help in an emergency.” “In contrast, living alone gives people more privacy.” This will make the flow easier to follow.
Coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the reason is repeated or unclear. For example, replace “because you are responsible for how you look or how your room looks” with “A roommate may help you keep your room clean because you share the space.”
Coherence and cohesion
Use “a roommate” or “roommates” with an article where needed. Also use “live alone” instead of “live solitary,” and use “share an apartment” instead of “split your apartment.”
Task response
You give a clear personal view from the start and repeat it at the end: you prefer living alone.
Task response
You include reasons for both choices, such as safety with a roommate and privacy when living alone.
Coherence and cohesion
The words “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “To sum up” help the reader see the main parts of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • companionship
  • alleviate
  • cost-sharing
  • economical
  • shared responsibilities
  • household management
  • privacy
  • independence
  • control
  • solitude
  • recharge
  • personal environment
  • focus
  • cleanliness standards
  • negotiate
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