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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

(Re) Sports play a significant role in promoting physical and mental well-being. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
It is contended that
sports
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 are meaningful for developing physical and mental well-being. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion because
sports
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 physically strengthen
people
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's bodies and corroborate
people
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's minds.
Body paragraph 1
It is obvious that
sports
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 are helpful for
people
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 to build a physical foundation. When I
had
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apply
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played football in high school,
for example
Linking Words
, I was exercising a lot, resulting in being in a physically healthy condition, e.g., I almost never caught a cold during high school.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I was less energetic when I couldn't play football during an examination period. I believe
,
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apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is a typical example that illustrates how
sports
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 improve our body function and vigour.
Sports
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,
therefore
Linking Words
, play a crucial role in enhancing physical well-being.
Body paragraph 2
Additionally
Linking Words
, playing
sports
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 brings mental well-being through experiences during
sports
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, my friend, who couldn't play
at
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in
show examples
 a championship where they were defeated, introspected and developed the roadmap to improve his skill, enabling him to be a captain in the University football club and become the national champion.
Thus
Linking Words
, through some experiences of overcoming difficulty,
people
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 can develop a more mature and steadfast mentality.
Hence
Linking Words
,
sports
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 can be beneficial in the way of developing mental maturity, which leads to mental well-being.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
sports
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 can help us develop physical strength through physical activities and mental maturity through competing circumstances, which improves both physical and mental satisfaction.

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task response
Your view is clear: you strongly agree. Keep this clear view from the first line to the end.
task response
Explain more fully how sport helps the mind. For example, say that exercise can lower stress, help sleep, and give people a sense of success. This is more direct than only talking about winning or losing.
task response
Your football examples are relevant, but the second example needs a clearer link to mental well-being. Say how the friend felt, what he learned, and how this helped his mind.
task response
Be careful with broad claims. Instead of saying sport always improves health, say it can improve health when people play often and safely.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: opening, body health, mental health, and ending. Keep one main idea in each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. For example: 'As a result', 'This shows that', and 'In the same way'. Do not use too many short linking words such as 'Thus', 'Hence', and 'Therefore' in close places.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the word choice is not natural. For example, write 'make people's bodies stronger' instead of 'physically strengthen people's bodies' and 'improve mental health' instead of 'develop mental maturity'.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last sentence match the question more closely. Use 'physical and mental well-being' rather than 'physical and mental satisfaction'.
task response
You answer both parts of the topic: body health and mental health.
task response
Your personal examples make the ideas real and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has a clear main point and an example.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending clearly show your main view.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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