IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.

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Traffic congestion and
pollution
Use synonyms
 have become global issues.
However
Linking Words
, it is possible to control these problems by escalating the cost of fuel. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 because
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 is a factor
which influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
that influences
show examples
 the most in many situations There are many benefits of raising
rates of
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 petrol
.
Check wording
prices.
show examples
Firstly
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 high rates
Add a comma
,
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nobody will want to buy private cars. People will use local transport for long distance
such
Linking Words
 as buses ,trains,
ship
Check wording
ships,
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 or
air planes
Correct your spelling
aeroplanes
, and short
distance
Check wording
distances
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 will be covered by bicycle.
This
Linking Words
 will help a lot in declining traffic burden, daily accidents and noise
pollution
Use synonyms
.
Occurrence
Correct article usage
The occurrence
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 of
accident
Check wording
accidents
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 will decrease ,
due to
Linking Words
 high prices less automobiles will be on
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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there
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 will be
easy
Replace the word
easier
 for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to control accidents and mishaps on roads.
Secondly
Linking Words
, contamination of
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 with impurities will be
minimized
Change the spelling
minimised
show examples
 by setting up high prices of vehicle oils.
Due to
Linking Words
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of less fuel ,the emission of carbon monoxide will be reduced. Environment Defence Fund estimates that on-road vehicles are the cause of one-third of the air
pollution
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, we have to take
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 steps to combat
this
Linking Words
,
otherwise
Linking Words
, we will pay
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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 amount. Everyday approximately 200 tons of impurities in just 12 square meter is noted. Number of patient of respiratory
track
Check wording
tract issues
show examples
 has increased
due to
Linking Words
 uncontrolled gases emitted from road vehicles.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is recommended that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should
rise
Verb problem
raise
show examples
 the price of fuel to get rid of all problems caused by traffic
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 there must be proper rules and
regulation
Check wording
regulations
show examples
 regarding
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of cars and
pollution
Use synonyms
 on road

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task response
Score: 5. You answer the question and keep to the topic, but the ideas are not fully developed. Explain more clearly how a higher petrol price would make people change their travel habits.
task response
The question says this is the best way. Your essay agrees, but it does not compare this way with other ways, such as better buses, trains, bike lanes, or rules for cars. Add one short part to show why higher prices are better than these other ways.
task response
Some facts are not clear or may not be true, for example “200 tons ... in just 12 square meter”. Use a simple, clear example instead, such as a family choosing the bus because driving costs too much.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 5. Your paragraph order is easy to follow, but some sentences do not connect well. For example, the part about accidents repeats the same point. Put one idea in each sentence, then explain it.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Do not use too many. Try clear links such as “As a result”, “For this reason”, and “In addition”.
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending match your main view. Instead of saying higher prices will solve “all problems”, say they can help reduce traffic and pollution, but other steps are also needed.
task response
Your main view is clear: you agree that higher fuel prices can cut traffic and pollution.
task response
You give two main reasons: fewer private cars and less air pollution.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words well, such as “Firstly”, “Secondly”, “Therefore”, and “To conclude”.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • discourage
  • incentivize
  • environmentally friendly
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • pollutants
  • alternative energy sources
  • sustainable economy
  • disproportionately affect
  • daily commuting
  • infrastructure
  • urban planning
  • comprehensive solutions
  • public transportation systems
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