IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about it?

Nowadays undoubtedly crimes are increasing more as compared to the past in both developing and developed countries. Many of the
people
Use synonyms
 want to live in a secure environment and they want to spend their lives peacefully,
therefore
Linking Words
 most of the population of developing countries want to migrate to developed countries for the good quality of life. I will share my views about
this
Linking Words
 topic and will
also
Linking Words
 give some opinions. Every country has laws and regulations, but
people
Use synonyms
 those who are living in a country not importantly follow all laws. Every individual is different and if they
follows
Change the verb form
follow
show examples
 the laws they can live happily and peacefully. Sometime situation become worsts due to which a person become a criminal;
firstly
Linking Words
, unemployment is one of the major
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
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, because of frustration lots of
people
Use synonyms
 become thief, trying to harm other
people
Use synonyms
. Due to overcrowding
Add a comma
,
show examples
the job opportunities are declining remarkably.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Illiteracy; we can see that in most of
the poor areas peoples
Change to a genitive case
the peoples of the poor area
the peoples of the poor areas
show examples
 are uneducated and
also
Linking Words
 they didn’t get exposure with the good environment
,
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apply
show examples
 if someone
pressurize
Change the verb form
pressurizes
show examples
 them they get involved in those kinds of activities that are really become dangerous for
people
Use synonyms
.
Government
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The government
show examples
 have to support the
people
Use synonyms
 and they
also
Linking Words
 have to arrange some kind of seminars or provide teaching sessions in the areas where
Replace the word
most
show examples
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are uneducated. They have to arrange
such
Linking Words
 kind of things because of which
people
Use synonyms
 can get encouragement.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, the major issue is inequality.
People
Use synonyms
 those are rich they are respectful. Poor
people
Use synonyms
 always get ignored in many situations. There should be
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
equal rights for the
people
Use synonyms
 so that everybody
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
e
Add an article
an
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qual chance to enjoy and live their life happily. To sum up, there are lots of reasons
of
Verify preposition usage
for
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 the criminal activities. Nobody is born criminal but situations due to which
people
Use synonyms
 get forced to do crimes like financial crisis, expenses, illiteracy, inequality etc.
in my opinion
Add the comma(s)
, in my opinion,
show examples
 it is the responsibility of the government to estimate which is the most occurring reason of crime and try to reduce it for sake of peoples.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime rate
  • violent crimes
  • socioeconomic factors
  • law enforcement
  • technology
  • education
  • employment
  • drug abuse
  • alcohol abuse
  • poverty
  • inequality
  • effectiveness
  • investing
  • job creation
  • social support
  • community engagement
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