IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the teenager’s years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are different stages of
life
Use synonyms
. Most
people
Use synonyms
 enjoyed as a
teenager
Use synonyms
 and many of the
people
Use synonyms
likes
Change the verb form
like
show examples
 their
adult
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
.
Teenager
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 is totally different from
adult
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
, both have different taste. Many
people
Use synonyms
 have
a
Add an article
the
an
show examples
ssumption that
teenager
Use synonyms
 lives bring more happiness, on another hand the concept is totally different some
of
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
p
Add an article
the
show examples
eople consider
adult
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 happier. I will discuss both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 of views and give my opinion. Those who believe teenage years are happiest for
people
Use synonyms
 because parents are always there for support, dependency
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 them strong enough to deal with the difficulties example
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if a
teenager
Use synonyms
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 ill
then
Linking Words
 a mother or father will support to get off from school or college. At the
time
Use synonyms
 of teenage the main focus is on studies and whenever possible they can spend
time
Use synonyms
 with friends and relatives. Socialization is more at the
time
Use synonyms
 of teenage years.
However
Linking Words
, when
teenager
Use synonyms
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 an adolescent
then
Linking Words
 they have
z
Change the article
the
show examples
eal to achieve
g
Add an article
the
a
show examples
oal. Confidence
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 them independent and they start hunting
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 job to become responsible. They mostly involved in studies, social gathering as well as finding
j
Add an article
a
show examples
ob to get experience which will be beneficial for them in future. On another hand,
people
Use synonyms
 who believe
adult
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 most of the happiness,
firstly
Linking Words
 responsibility is a major factor. At the
adult
Use synonyms
 stage self-confidence and self-satisfaction are two important factors that bring happiness to a
person
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
Person
Add an article
A person
The person
show examples
 is able to support his family and parents and always well focused on his goal. When an
adult
Use synonyms
person
Use synonyms
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 capable of fulfilling all needs of their families
then
Linking Words
 he considered himself the happiest
person
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, both stages are different. It always
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
Add the preposition
on
show examples
how
person
Use synonyms
tackle
Change the verb form
tackles
show examples
d
Add an article
the
show examples
ifferent situation and feel happy. A
teenager
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 is not as complicated as
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to the
adult
Use synonyms
person
Use synonyms
. When an
adult
Use synonyms
person
Use synonyms
 become older at that
time
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 show different situations. So it always
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on priorities by which a
person
Use synonyms
 feel happy.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Satisfaction
  • Autonomy
  • Fulfillment
  • Pressures
  • Novelty
  • Responsibilities
  • Priorities
  • Transition
  • Rite of passage
  • Holistic
  • Nostalgia
  • Existential
  • Resilience
  • Maturity
  • Self-actualization
  • Rejuvenation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: