You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. 'Tourism is always a force for good which enables people of different countries to understand each other.' To what extent do you agree? You should give reasons for your answers, and include ideas and example from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

Tourism
allows
people
of different nationalities to be able to understand each other. In
this
essay, I disagree that
tourism
is a gateway to understanding each other. On the
one
hand, travelling to another
country
with a different, unique culture than yours enables
people
from different backgrounds to experience different ways of living;
thus
,
this
allows room for
one
to have an
open-mind
Correct your spelling
open mind

The word open-mind doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
, tolerance and understanding.
Moreover
,
one
of the many ways a diverse group of
people
to understand each other is through
language
.
Language
can pose as a gateway for learning the culture and the history of another
country
;
in addition
, it
also
allows different
people
from all walks of life to interact with
one
another, which creates a strong bond between
people
made from love and mutual respect.
On the other hand
,
people
do not
necessary
Change the adjective
necessarily

The adjective necessary is modifying travel instead of a noun or pronoun. Use an adverb to modify a verb, adjective, or other adverb.

show examples
t
Add the particle
to

It appears that the verb travel should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

show examples
ravel to another
country
in order to understand and appreciate another culture and lifestyle. Some
people
go abroad for time off from work or on a family vacation;
thus
, rarely for a learning experience. That being said,
this
does not serve as a means of gaining
u
Add an article
an

The noun phrase understanding seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
nderstanding for
one
another.
Conversely
,
people
do not always study the
language
of a different
country
, rather they see English as an international
language
, which would not enable them to speak to locals.
As a result
,
tourism
does not always serve
people
as a way to understand each other. In conclusion, I feel that
although
ideally
Add a comma
,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase ideally. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
tourism
would serve as
m
Add an article
a
the

The noun phrase medium seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
edium for tolerance,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply

It appears that the word but is unnecessary in this sentence. Consider removing it.

show examples
without seeing the importance to make sure
people
who are going abroad have an open-mind to understand and accept each other despite our differences,
tourism
would not be
this
force of good as it was intended.
Submitted by thisisyasminee on

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next: