IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

It is often argued that it is more advantageous to choose a
job
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 with
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 wage, even if it doesn't appeal to you at all. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion and think that
job
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satisfaction
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 is much more important than
salary
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. First of all, I believe that
job
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satisfaction
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 gives people a sense of
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
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 that no money can guarantee. Even if someone is earning a high
salary
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, but feels tensed and compromises with his conscience,
this
Linking Words
 person won’t enjoy his life.
While
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 pursuing one’s interests will always bring pleasure and
feeling
Correct article usage
a feeling
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 of
satisfaction
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.
For example
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, a lot of famous researchers made their career choices not because of appealing wages, but because they were passionate about science. That’s why it’s more important to choose the kind of work that makes you happy than to look only at a high
salary
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.
Secondly
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, doing what you like keeps you motivated and
therefore
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 leads to
a
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apply
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career growth.
In other words
Linking Words
, there is a strong
relation
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relationship
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 between
job
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satisfaction
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 and productivity. People who love their jobs can easily excel in their fields of work and achieve better results than those, who put
salary
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on
Change preposition
in
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 the first place.
For instance
Linking Words
, Henry Miller decided to leave his everyday
job
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 despite a good wage and ventured to become a writer.
And after
Correct word choice
After
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 enduring years of ups and downs he became one of the most famous and well-paid authors of the twentieth century.
Thus
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,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 of jobs that keep you satisfied outweigh the
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
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 of a low
salary
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 in a long-term perspective.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that
job
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satisfaction
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 is more beneficial than
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
 because it makes people happy and motivated.

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Coherence and Cohesion
You've done an excellent job at structuring your essay logically. Your introduction clearly states your position on the issue, and your conclusion succinctly reiterates your main points.
Task Response
Your response to the task is almost complete, but there could be more exploration of why some people might prioritize high salary over job satisfaction. Exploring the other side of the argument could boost your score in this criterion.
Task Completion
Your essay highlights relevant, specific examples that support your points effectively. Your use of examples like famous researchers and Henry Miller effectively illustrate your points.
Lexical Resource
Your lexical resource is excellent. You've used a wide range of vocabulary to express your ideas and you have also avoided repetition effectively.
Grammatical Range
Your grammatical range is extensive and you've used it effectively to enhance your arguments. There's a good mix of simple and complex sentences, and you've used punctuation correctly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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