Some people think it is more important for government to spend public money on promoting healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #lifestyle #illness #treatment

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Many people believe that the expenditure on enhancing healthy

lifestyle

Use synonyms

to avoid from diseases rather than spending

money

Use synonyms

on medical conditions to cure people of their available health issues. While I agree that

impulsing

impressive in appearance

imposing

healthy

lifestyle

Use synonyms

should be invested, I

also

Linking Words

think that the support of government for treating many patients is likely to be more vital. On the one hand, there are

serveral

(used with count nouns) of an indefinite number more than 2 or 3 but not many

several

reasons why I believe that authority should spend their

money

Use synonyms

on encouraging

healthy

Suggestion

healthy lifestyles

a healthy lifestyle

lifestyle

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, it is true that some diseases might result from sedentary life on a daily basis. People seem to be so caught up in their works and studies,

hence

Linking Words

, they are not accustomed to do exercises regularly to maintain their health.

Secondly

Linking Words

, more people tend to prefer travelling by cars to

walking

Suggestion

walk

or to cycling, which leads to a significant increase in the number of people being more prone

in the direction of

obesity in

manycountries

Suggestion

many countries

around the world.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is necessary for government to spend

money

Use synonyms

on not only constructing more new sport

centres but

Accept comma addition

centres, but

also

Linking Words

on improving the quality of public transport to advocate people to live

healthier

Suggestion

a healthier lifestyle

healthier lifestyles

lifestyle

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I

also

Linking Words

think that the expenditure on the treatment of people who are suffering illness is more important. The

first

Linking Words

reason is that beside unhealthy

lifestyle

Use synonyms

, there are some other reasons which may cause serious health issues. In Vietnam,

for example

Linking Words

, the hazardous problem of dirty food, water and air pollution all have

becomed

enter or assume a certain state or condition

become

became

burning topics that everyone concerns because they have been detrimental directly to their lives. Another reason is that many patients, especially who have chronic and acute diseases,

needs

Suggestion

need

medicines and

effectively

Suggestion

effective

medical techniques to be cured.

As a result

Linking Words

, the most essential thing for people who are ill already is the support from government in the way of spending public

money

Use synonyms

on enhancing the quality of services in many hospitals and researching on medical conditions. In conclusion, spending public

money

Use synonyms

on the treatment of people who are having

illness

Suggestion

an illness

is less important than the expenditure on encouraging healthy

lifestyle

Use synonyms

to prevent diseases.

Although

Linking Words

it is necessary to invest in improving people’s

lifestyle

Use synonyms

, I think that spending on curing patients is more important.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

367 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

promote
healthy lifestyle
prevent
illness
treatment
public money
government expenditure
reduce
burden
healthcare system
preventive measures
improve
well-being
invest
long-term benefits
society
necessary care
balance
address
effectively

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Some people think it is more important for government to spend public money on promoting healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is said that it is a good idea to have three or four generations living under one roof. What’s your opinion? Use your specific reasons and examples to support your idea. You should write about 250 words.

The plans below show the layout of a university sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

Parents, particularly mothers, do not go to work to take care of family. Some people say that the government should give some money to those parents. do you agree or disagree with the satement? give reasons to your answers and give example to support your views.

It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweuigh the disadvatages ?

Some people argue that spending a lot of money holdingn birthday parties,wedding parties and other celebration is a waste of money. However, others believe such parties are important for individual and for society. Discuss both views give your opinion.