It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than that of young people in many countries in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#proportion #people #countries #future #development

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Economic scientist expected some countries are witnessing the increase of the older people in their inhabitants. I believe,

this

Linking Words

growth would negatively affect to the economics and other aspects of a

country

Use synonyms

. On the one hand, despite the dedication of the older generation to the social development and our peace generally, it

also

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leads to a higher burden to the government because of the rising number of the elders.

Firstly

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, the rapid aging speed of a

country

Use synonyms

would

seriously influence to

Suggestion

seriously influence

the

labor

a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages

labour

age of a community.

Consequently

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, there is a lack of skilled employees under working condition, leading to the stagnant integration to globalization as well as decreasing GDP growth widely.

Secondly

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, the various subsidiaries older people consist of welfare, insurance and medical fee would cause some certain deficit to the government fund.

For instance

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, Korea is facing with the negative shortage of label forces working in factories, manufactures and offices because of the

dramatical

suitable to or characteristic of drama

dramatic

increase of the elders in remote areas while the birth rate is extremely low.

On the other hand

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, it is obviously beneficial to the

country

Use synonyms

if the younger rate is standing as the highest in age chart. Rather than that, these youngsters are not only contributing to the enrich and diversified skilled workers over the

field but

Accept comma addition

field, but

also

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boosting the growth of

economics

Suggestion

economic

and educations.

Moreover

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, a huge number of

workforces

Suggestion

the workforces

are

dedicating

Suggestion

dedicated

such

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helpfully

communitive

a group of people living in a particular local area

community

campaigns, aiming to raise awareness among the public.

Such

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activities as cleaning the beaches, rivers and canals or educating for poor children in mountainside which the older persons find them difficult to contribute because of

health condition

Suggestion

a health condition

. In conclusion, it is true to respect our grandparent’s generation thank to their attempts over the years,

however

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, the

youngers

used of the younger of two persons of the same name especially used to distinguish a son from his father

younger

youngest

would be the future generation and inherit to continue their missions in promoting their own

country

Use synonyms

Submitted by giangchaubui139 on Sat Mar 30 2019

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than that of young people in many countries in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that range of technology currently is increasing gap between rich and poor people. Others think that it is causing opposite . Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that to reduce the amount of time people spend commuting (travelling to work), parks and gardens close to city centres should be replaced by apartment buildings for commuters to live in. However, others disagree with this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefits of this mobility outweighs the disadvantages? Give reasonsfor yours answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges related not only to the environment, but pollution and education as well. What problems your country will face in next years.

Government spending on restoration of old buildings in cities should be stopped. Instead they should spend the money for housing and road development. Do you agree or disagree