Some people feel that entertainer (I.e film stars pop musicians and sports stars )are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree . Which are the types of jobs should be highly paid.

Entertainment industry
Suggestion
The entertainment industry
is considered as a highly paid industry in all over the
world
Accept comma addition
world, however
however
it is a becoming eye-catching topic to discuss whether it is economically acceptable or not. Some people believe entertainer like film stars, pop musicians, sports starts are paid higher than other occupations. As long as
amount
Suggestion
an amount
of reward for an effort is concerned and
such
entertainers deserve a handsome money. They have a distinct
talents
Suggestion
talent
and skills and they execute extra efforts and practice to make
theirselves
reflexive form of "them"
themselves
eligible for entering into
entertainment world
Suggestion
the entertainment world
. In some case, like Hollywood actors/actress put their life at risk in performing an extra-ordinary role or play. Whereas, some sports persons
also
have
greater chance
Suggestion
a greater chance
of on-field injuries. But,
amount
Suggestion
the amount
of salary in other jobs
do not justify
Suggestion
does not justify
this
point.
Well balanced
Suggestion
The well balanced country
country
is
also
in need of other quality services from doctors, defence entity, teachers etc. Military group is providing the protection shield to
country
against the danger of anti-social activities for peaceful environment. They should be paid comparatively high for their involvement in
country
's safety.
Moreover
,
country
's education system plays major role in
successful
Suggestion
successful countries
a successful country
country
. Rather spending too much money behind entertainment industry starts, it should be invested in paying enough
to
Suggestion
for
teachers and in developing resources for
bright future
Suggestion
the bright future
of
nation
Suggestion
the nation
a nation
. All in all, I agree
instead
paying too much to
entertainer
Suggestion
entertain
, some other types of job like military service, teachers should be paid highly too.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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