In some countries, advertisers increase the amount of advertising which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys and other goods. Parents object to such pressure on children. But some advertisers claim that there is useful information in these advertisements. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some parts of the world, children are faced with the increase of advertisements which encourage them to buy foods and entertainment gadgets. There has been some objections raised by these children's parents about the impact on their kids while other people working in
advertising field
Suggestion
the advertising field
claimed that their works bring
knowledge
to
customer
Suggestion
the customer
customers
.
This
essay will discuss both opinion and give own perception of
writter
writes (books or stories or articles or the like) professionally (for pay)
writers
.
Firstly
, there are concerns that the increasing of advertising can pose a threat to a children mind set. On a daily basis, too many advertisements can result in making children to think that the procession of the product is an absolutely must.
For example
, children watching
a
Suggestion
an
advertisement about a new Lego product with many cool benefits day after day is likely to make tricks so as to force their parents to buy the thing that they see.
This
can be the root of children not obeying to their parents if these kids don't get what they want.
Besides
that, one of the
result
Suggestion
results
could be inequality among children in their school. With young children's friends keep buying snacks, toys that are introduced on
advertisement
Suggestion
an advertisement
,
this
will make other kids feel intimidated and less
confidents
having or marked by confidence or assurance
confident
confidence
as they don't process what
other
plural of other; the people or things not already mentioned
others
have.
On the other hand
, advertisements can enrich children with
knowledge
and offer them a better
tools
Suggestion
tool
for their future. Young children who watch advertisements related to technology
such
as new
mobilephones
Suggestion
mobile phones
, the development of microchips can gain
usefull
being of use or service
useful
information which can be used in many subjects at school. They will be equipped with
knowledge
that are not being taught at school and get a chance to know more about the world they are living in.
Other
Suggestion
Another
benefit can be listed is that these advertisements will notice children with the retail price of the products and the way it is introduced to customers. For those children who show
interest
Suggestion
an interest
in marketing and
sale
Suggestion
sales
jobs,
this
plural of "this"
these
those
benefits can set the
foudation
the basis on which something is grounded
foundation
of young
children
Suggestion
child's
children's
child
mind set
a habitual or characteristic mental attitude that determines how you will interpret and respond to situations
mindset
which can eventually
helping
Suggestion
help
them in creating marketing strategy or sale campaign lately.
However at
Accept comma addition
However, at
the early age without guidance from parents, children
can easily be attract
Suggestion
can easily attract
can easily be attracted
to
to a degree exceeding normal or proper limits
too
many products that they see on advertisements.
This
will create pressure not only on
yound
(used of living things especially persons) in an early period of life or development or growth
young
pupils but
Accept comma addition
pupils, but
also
on their parents. If demand is not
meet
Suggestion
met
, it may cause these children to experience some drawbacks that have been discussed above In conclusion, there are still arguments between the benefits and drawbacks impacts of the increasing advertising on children. In my point of view, advertisements in some aspects can benefit children with many
usefull
being of use or service
useful
information and
knowledge
despite of the increasing in number.
Thus
, the benefit of
this
problem
outweight
Suggestion
outweighs
outweigh
their drawbacks.
Submitted by hieu.9a8.dt on

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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