Is Education the only critical Factor to the Development of a Country?

Education
is the root
for
Suggestion
of
a healthy community.
Education
gives knowledge and
prepares
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Prepares
our children for a better future.”
said
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Said
Chitra Subramanian.
That is
why some
large
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Large
parts around Asia nowadays mostly take an eye on developing the
education
system
in
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In
order to ensure their
country
development.
However
, I intensely disagree with that
perspective
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Perspective
because developing a
country
does not only strengthen
one
aspect of the
social
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Social
issues, but
also
have to consider about living
condition
Suggestion
conditions
, security, and equality.
Initially
, what will happen if there is a big gap between the balance of poor living
condition
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Condition
and best
education
system
? Children, who come from the remote areas have to
fight
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Fight
with many issues while they are on their miserably hard way coming to
school
. Take
students
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Students
in the south central of Phu yen- Vietnam as an
example
, they have to cross the 15-meter-wide river with their
schoolbags
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school bags
and uniforms
into
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in
plastic bags so as to reach
the
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The
other side every day, which is the main reason for almost students there drop out of
their
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Their
schooling.
Moreover
, poverty
also
is the core factor leads
student left
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the student left school
school
to work
because
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Because
they are not able to pay the tuition fees; especially in Vietnam, there does not
have
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Have
any loans for secondary, or high
school
students.
Hence
, the
education
system
does
not
negation of a word or group of words
Not
flourish as predicted. There will have more uneducated people, who cannot join in any
soft
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Soft
skills, or even hard skills training; Almost of them are unemployed, which is
the high
Suggestion
higher
rate
Suggestion
Rate
for crimes from all over the world.
Secondly
, security is
also
the factor leads the stabilization of the
country
.
One
nation
Suggestion
A nation
Nation
The nation
cannot flourish even when it has the most modern teaching program. Take Pakistan
education
Suggestion
The education system
Education system
system
as an
example
, though
this
country
also use
Suggestion
also uses
the up-to-date teaching
methods
Suggestion
Methods
, it
also
cannot be grown and developed because of its jihad.
Consequently
, Pakistan is recently known as
one
of the most dangerous and unsafe
country
to live.
Besides
, try to imagine how our kids can pay all their attention to study, if there are
bunch
Suggestion
bunched
of
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Of
violent threats. “Eighty percent of students say they have suffered from gender-based violence at
least
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Least
once, while 71 percent of students have been affected by
school violence in
Suggestion
school violence
the
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The
last
six months.” According to a survey in Vietnam That points out the high alarm of violence in schools not only from Vietnam, but
also
from
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From
other countries.
Furthermore
, another hard-solving problem is that there still has many kidnaps, which
worried
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Worried
parents a lot. The kidnappers take students to their private place by magic skills,
and
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And
then
they make a phone call to parents to tell them give a big amount of money, or
their
Suggestion
Their
children will die. The authorities should put
necessary measures
Suggestion
the necessary measures
in place to secure
schools
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Schools
across the
country
in view of the emerging security challenges.
Finally
, gender equality, religion, and living areas are extremely useful to go along
with
Suggestion
With
education
to get the equal studying environment. On
one
hand, the discrimination
between
Suggestion
Between
boys and girls in schools became a highlight issue around the 19th to the 20th
century
Suggestion
Century
. Now, there is likely to discriminate between the normal sex, and the homosexual. The LGBT-
les
used to form the comparative of some adjectives and adverbs
less
, gay, bisexual, and transgender- is often known as a homosexual society,
which
Suggestion
Which
is mostly being discriminated by classmates, colleagues, family, and even teachers. “People would pound on the GSA doors, people would join to make fun of us,
we
Suggestion
We
’d put up posters and they’d get written on and torn down,” said Ethan B.,
a
expresses position, direction or location, or point in time
at
16-
year
Suggestion
Year
-old transgender boy in Texas. “We
complained but
Accept comma addition
complained, but
the administration said
they
Suggestion
They
couldn’t do anything.” The same-sex marriage is available in
US
Suggestion
the US
nowadays.
However
, in many developing
countries
Suggestion
Countries
, homosexual people still have to face with a lot of harassments, and
discriminations
Suggestion
Discriminations
. It is not equal for them because every person on
this
planet has the right
to
Suggestion
To
live, go to
school
, and grow up. Governments should have more consideration about
the
Suggestion
The
rights for LGBT to be themselves like other people. On
another hand
Suggestion
the other hand
other hand
, the discrimination among religions
also need
Suggestion
also needs
taking
Suggestion
to take
into a
consideration
Suggestion
Consideration
.
For
example
, the Catholicism, and the Buddhism attack each other because Writing4_Finalpaper_Do Anh Hao_01501027 5
of
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Of
different beliefs.
Moreover
,
students
Suggestion
the students
also
afraid to talk with other friends in
school
,
who
Suggestion
Who
has different beliefs because there may have some wars, if
one
person
accidentally
Suggestion
accidentally?
talk
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Talk
wrong things about their friends’ religion.
Furthermore
, The difference
among
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between
living areas is
also
one
of the main factors making
war
Suggestion
War
. Most people from the urban do not like people, who come from the
suburban
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suburbs
because
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Because
they think that they have no similarities. "When we started out we had a few whites in our area, but within a few years they
all
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All
moved out
,
Accept space
,
" said Lewis Anderson. "For us African Americans when we see a
group
of white people move to the
neighborhood
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Neighbourhood
Neighborhood
we think that's good, we're cool with that. But for many white
families
Suggestion
Families
that's not the case - they start to get discouraged, they start to worry about
the
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The
property value and leave." The discrimination between the black, and the white has been set up for a long time. They
do
Suggestion
Do
not want to live, work, or even talk
with
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to
another. Kids
always be
Suggestion
are always being
in
this
situation, they
are
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Are
always discriminated from another bigger
group
.
For
example
, some African students
only
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Only
play together in the small
group
because they are not allowed to join in a white
group
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Group
. In
this
case, Raising citizen awareness is the thing
that is
exceedingly urgent for
one
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One
country
to put it on top. To conclude, three above-mentioned aspects represent for all of the issues, which
need
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Need
considering together by the government in order to reinforce the
country
.
Education
is
Suggestion
Is
an extremely important and necessary for
one
country
to strengthen it as much as
possible
Suggestion
Possible
, but it has to go along with other aspects. “Together we can change the world”. If
the
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The
authority is
unaffordable
impossible to avoid or evade
unavoidable
to clarify these problems, there will come about
some
in the near future
soon
unexpected
Suggestion
Unexpected
situations in the future.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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