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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

#people #exercise #time #health
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There is a big amount of workers who have sitting jobs and who does not do any physical exercises at the off
work
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time
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 and eventually they have diseases related to the lack of physical activity
such
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 as diabetes and obesity.
This
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people
Suggestion
person
have not get
Suggestion
has not got
 enough activity because of
high level
Suggestion
the high level
high levels
 of pressure at
work
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 and insufficient free
time
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 to devote it to the sport exercises. To solve
this
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 problem, employers should give extra benefits to their employees who wish to improve their health through fitness
such
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 as give them extra
time
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 off
work
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. Many people have jobs which do not give them enough free
time
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 to get all their thoughts realized. Office workers are often having to
work
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 at the desk for
entire day
Suggestion
the entire day
an entire day
 after that they have to choose to spend their free
time
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 with family or in the gym. And
that is
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 the reason of people not doing enough sport activities is that they choose to be with their beloved any extra
time
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 they got.
For example
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, standard shift in Russia is 9 hours and the way to the
work
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 and back could take another 2 hours, so there is not enough
time
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 for sport activities after
work
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 if one has family liabilities. To encourage employees to be in a good physical condition, employers could give them motivation like giving some extra
time
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 off
work
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 if they will attend gym at
this
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time
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. Providing about 2 extra hours of break each week could improve the
healthiness
Suggestion
health
 of the worker and he could
work
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 more efficiently and he will rarely be absent at
work
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 because of sickness and meeting doctor.
For example
Linking Words
, many companies who have own gyms at their buildings show that their employees became much healthier when gyms became to operate. In conclusion, there is a problem with lack of physical activity among office workers caused by insufficient free
time
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 and the way to solve it is to provide extra free
time
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 by employers for those of them who ready to spend
this
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time
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 in the gyms.
Submitted by dysking on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
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