The % of overweight children in Weston countries has increased by 20% in last 10 years. Discuss the cause and effects of disturbing trend?

#children #weston #countries #years #effects #trend

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Now a days

Suggestion

Nowadays

, children in foreign countries

has increased

Suggestion

have increased

their weight 20% as compared to

last

Linking Words

10 years, it has many causes and effects that are discuses in the following a

paragraphs

Suggestion

paragraph

To begin

Linking Words

with, obesity has many causes like junk foods, overeating and frequency of eating that increase the body fat. Mostly children are couch potatoes and prefer to eat spicy food rather than homemade food that are

unhygienic

Suggestion

it is

it's

effects on their physical fitness.

Linking Words

Moreover youth

Accept comma addition

Moreover, youth

attracted towards the indoor activities like video game, internet surfing, chatting that make them lazy, fatigue and

weak

Suggestion

weakness

. If they started outdoor activity

then

Linking Words

their body fat and calories will be

burn

Suggestion

burned

burnt

due to body movement.

Moreover

Linking Words

, parents are

also

Linking Words

responsible for their children. If they guide and encouraged their son and daughter for outdoor activities and avoid fast food

become

Suggestion

becoming

healthy life.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, one of the other main reasons is diseases like asthma, blood pressure, diabetes, thyroid, insulin. These problems give invitation to overweight. Patients who suffer these problems do not work and exercises properly so they have more chance to gain weight. Few disease

are

Suggestion

heredity

Suggestion

hereditary

, it

transfer

Suggestion

transfers

one generation to

Linking Words

so they have few

chance

Suggestion

chances

to control them because genetic problem defiantly

day

Use synonyms

day

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, I recapitulate my views that overweight problem increase

day

Use synonyms

day

Use synonyms

that have

dangerous effect

Suggestion

dangerous effects

a dangerous effect

Suggestion

our health. Teacher and parents teach the adults and kids about the effects of obesity. If government should provide the gym,

health fitness

Accept comma addition

health, fitness

facilities to the students in school level

then

Linking Words

we will overcome it.

Submitted by naresh on Wed Apr 03 2019

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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The % of overweight children in Weston countries has increased by 20% in last 10 years. Discuss the cause and effects of disturbing trend?

Your opinion

Some individuals advocate for improving public transportation systems as a means to reduce traffic congestion and air pollution. Conversely, others argue that private cars offer more convenience and freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Surveys conducted in 1982 and 2002 show different pictures of what motivate students to choose a college or university in the UK Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is the case? What can governments do to help the amount of rubbish produced?

Some people think the news has no connection to people's lives, so then it is a waste of time to read the news in the newspaper and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree