The % of overweight children in Weston countries has increased by 20% in last 10 years. Discuss the cause and effects of disturbing trend?

#children #weston #countries #years #effects #trend

Now a days

Suggestion

Nowadays

, children in foreign countries

has increased

Suggestion

have increased

their weight 20% as compared to

last

10 years, it has many causes and effects that are discuses in the following a

paragraphs

Suggestion

paragraph

To begin

with, obesity has many causes like junk foods, overeating and frequency of eating that increase the body fat. Mostly children are couch potatoes and prefer to eat spicy food rather than homemade food that are

unhygienic

it is

it's

effects on their physical fitness.

Moreover youth

Accept comma addition

Moreover, youth

attracted towards the indoor activities like video game, internet surfing, chatting that make them lazy, fatigue and

weak

Suggestion

weakness

. If they started outdoor activity

then

their body fat and calories will be

burn

Suggestion

burned

burnt

due to body movement.

Moreover

, parents are

also

responsible for their children. If they guide and encouraged their son and daughter for outdoor activities and avoid fast food

become

Suggestion

becoming

healthy life.

Furthermore

, one of the other main reasons is diseases like asthma, blood pressure, diabetes, thyroid, insulin. These problems give invitation to overweight. Patients who suffer these problems do not work and exercises properly so they have more chance to gain weight. Few disease

are

Suggestion

heredity

Suggestion

hereditary

, it

transfer

Suggestion

transfers

one generation to

so they have few

chance

Suggestion

chances

to control them because genetic problem defiantly

day

. In conclusion, I recapitulate my views that overweight problem increase

day

that have

dangerous effect

Suggestion

dangerous effects

a dangerous effect

Suggestion

our health. Teacher and parents teach the adults and kids about the effects of obesity. If government should provide the gym,

health fitness

Accept comma addition

health, fitness

facilities to the students in school level

then

we will overcome it.

Submitted by naresh on Wed Apr 03 2019

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The % of overweight children in Weston countries has increased by 20% in last 10 years. Discuss the cause and effects of disturbing trend?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

topic - In many countries more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

Write a letter of invitation to your parents. In the letter: – Explain that you have completed your studies – Give details of the event, including time, date and dress code – Let them know how many tickets they have and who they are for?

Some people say that universities should only accept the young students with the highest marks. However, others think that universities should accept people of all ages that may not do well at school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Every years several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if they are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?