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Band 4.5

some say that because many people are living much longer, the age should be increased considerably.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#say #people #age
There
are
Suggestion
is
 some fraction of individuals who are believe that people have long expectancy nowadays as compare to the
yester days
the day immediately before today
yesterdays
.
Therefore
,
Accept space
,
folks pull back time from
work
 should be increased.I agree with
this
 view to some extent.I will elucidate
firstly
,
Accept space
,
how it will put worst impact on employment
secondly
, in what
sspecific
Suggestion
is specific
s specific
 jobs
age
 limit should be raised. To commence with
,
Accept space
,
it is irrefutable that retirement
age
have
Suggestion
has
 some bad implications.
First
 of all
,
Accept space
,
it will increase the unemployment.To put it simple
,
Accept space
,
there are
plathora
Suggestion
a plethora
plethora
plethoras
 of countries which are facing the
seroois
concerned with work or important matters rather than play or trivialities
serious
 threat of unemployment.There are majority of
graduates but
Accept comma addition
graduates, but
 do not have perfect
job according
Accept comma addition
job, according
 to their abilities.
Therefore
,
Accept space
,
they are running for jobs here and there.
As a result
,
Accept space
,
age limit
Suggestion
the age limit
 will be worst.
Secondly
, it will reduce the extra money of
government
Suggestion
the government
. There various government sectors
were
In or at or to what place
where
 people are working if employees
work
 for many
years
Accept comma addition
years, then
then
 authority need more money for their benefits
instead
 of do another
work
.
Additionaly
Suggestion
Additionally
,
Accept space
,
there will be no change in the system of
work
 because old
age
 people will not use advance method toward the projects which will cause the production of companies. On the flip side
,
Accept space
,
without any shade of doubt there are some specific jobs were
age
 limit should be
increased namely
Accept comma addition
increased, namely
,
Accept space
,
work art
Accept comma addition
work, art
,
Accept space
,
designers
,
Accept space
,
paintings because these types of jobs need experience of years.
Moreover
,
Accept space
,
it will provide not only comfort but
also
 good pay skills to handle their expense.There will be not any stress
,
Accept space
,
burden
Suggestion
the burden
 of
work
.To quote an example, it is illustrated in the "Tribune Newspapers in 2013
,
Accept space
,
that numbers of old
age
 people increased dramatically in these job fields. To
recapitulation
Suggestion
recapitulate
,
although
 raising retirement
age
 in every sector will increase unemployment as well as put bad impact on
economy
Suggestion
the economy
 yet
,
Accept space
,
it can be raised in
art
photographs or other visual representations in a printed publication
artwork
work
,
Accept space
,
designing and many more job fields.
Submitted by princestyle47 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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