IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people do not mind to spend their leisure time with their colleagues while some people prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #mind #leisure #time #colleagues #life #work
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Leisure
time
 is a basic requirement for every
people
Suggestion
person
 in the world. In our modern
day
 to
day
to
Suggestion
of
 life, spending
leisure
time
 has become the main entertainment medium for people around the world.
However
, who should we spend our
leisure
 period with requires a discussion. We must acknowledge that we spend most of our
times
Suggestion
time
 at workplaces. People we engage in our
day
 to
day
 life is the people from those workplaces only. So, it will very much easier to make a friendship with the people at work. As all the earlier friends from schools or universities are scattered in different
geolocations
several things grouped together or considered as a whole
collections
, the only viable option is to spend
leisure
time
 with co-workers cum friend nowadays.
Nevertheless
, most of the
time
 co-worker's have their own agenda on how to behave.
This
 type of articulated
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 is not healthy for any sort of relationship. In our
leisure
 period, we would like to free ourselves from all the boundaries provided in our workplaces. So, articulated
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 will not help us to enjoy.
In addition
, we spend most of the weekdays in workplaces. Sometimes we stay far away from families.
Also
, sometimes our work is so hectic that it becomes tough to maintain work and private life balance. So, in our
leisure
 period, we should spend more
time
 with our families rather than friends from workplaces. In conclusion,
although
 friendship is a mandatory requirement for the human being I think, friends from workplaces should be less preferred over the family members. Vacations should be dedicated to family members only.
Submitted by Serhii Baraniuk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: