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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People sleep less than before in many countries. Why do people sleep less? What effect does it have on an individually and on society?

#people #countries #effect #society
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Nowdays
Suggestion
Nowadays
, people from all over the
world
 get less sleep hours than ever before.
This
 essay aims at explaining why people get less sleep and what are the repercussions of
this
 new trend
on
Suggestion
of
for
 individuals and
society
 as well. People sleep less generally
becouse
for the reason that; on account of
because
 they live in a more competitive than ever before
society
. In
order
 to keep up with the
everchanging
Suggestion
ever changing
eviroment
, people need to spend as much time as
posible
capable of happening or existing
possible
 to interact with the
world
 around them in
order
 to
absorbe
become imbued
absorb
absorbed
 as much information as humanly
posible
capable of happening or existing
possible
. Some say the information is power, so they need it to
achive
to gain with effort
achieve
 their goals in
this
 competitive
world
 we live in.
For
example in
Accept comma addition
example, in
order
 to be one of the best in your field, depending on the field, you'll have to train or read very hard, and more importantly harder that your competition, and
this
 could only be done if you have more time,
thus
 people tend to sleep less that one may get more time for training. The impact on an individual is a faster rate development process, but at cost. Less sleep can come with
health
 disorders, and sometimes if the lack of sleep is considerable these
health
 problems will be
severe especially
Accept comma addition
severe, especially
 if they are associated with
streess
the relative prominence of a syllable or musical note (especially with regard to stress or pitch)
stress
, fast food and no
exrercise
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
exercise
.
Moreover
, the
society
 can't
only but
Accept comma addition
only, but
 be affected by having to deal with
this
 extra
health
problmes
a state of difficulty that needs to be resolved
problems
, more money from
guverment
Suggestion
the government
government
 being needed to pay the hospitals and doctors that treat these
pacients
a person who requires medical care
patients
.
However
 the
society
 can benefit from people trying to
achive
to gain with effort
achieve
 more by helping it develop more, by making life easier for everybody throughout their
achivements
the action of accomplishing something
achievements
achievement
. In conclusion people choose to sleep less because we live in a more competitive than ever
before
Suggestion
before, the world
before the world
world
, where we have to keep up with other people in
order
 to
succed
attain success or reach a desired goal
succeed
 in completing our goals,
this
 coming with
health
problmes
a state of difficulty that needs to be resolved
problems
 and higher costs for the
society
 to treat them but the price we pay
outweights
be heavier than
outweighs
 the benefits of a
continusly
at every point
continuously
continually
 improving
society
.
Submitted by caraenache.catalin on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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