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Band 4.5

The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the world costs numerous governments expenditure. This money should be used in new housing and road development. Do you agree or disagree?

#restoration #buildings #cities #world #costs #governments #expenditure #money #road #development
The reconstruction of ancient monuments requires huge funding by the government in most of the cities around the world. Despite,
this
 budget should be
spend
Suggestion
spent
 on building new houses as well as upgrading roads. I disagree with the point that funds should be invested
on
Suggestion
in
 residential accommodation and construction of roads rather than to restore past historical buildings.
To begin
 with, traditional infrastructure is
blend
Suggestion
a blend
 of history and tradition of our country. It
inculcate
Suggestion
inculcates
has inculcated
is inculcated
 divine feelings in the citizens of a nation. Some historical places are on the roads in many towns, which need to be restored to avoid any loss of property and lives of people. If these places are demolished by authorities,
then
 a part of history will die out that leads to the loss of cultural values in coming generations. Rebuilding involves
cost
Suggestion
the cost
 of
labour
Suggestion
the labour
 only.
Hence
, job opportunities for workers will rise.
Moreover
, ancient buildings attract tourism.
As a result
, economic status of a country will grow. The money will be invested in building the most famous and old architecture.
Also
,
Accept space
,
local people will get employment opportunities by opening shops close to
tourist place
Suggestion
tourist places
.'
Virasat
 e Khasla' in Anandpur Sahib, is the quintessential example of attracting tourists from all over the world, which was rebuilt in 2013.
However
, it is essential to preserve ancient infrastructure. But it is
also
 imperative to repair and construct roads which represents
affluent lifestyle
Suggestion
an affluent lifestyle
the affluent lifestyle
 of the masses living
in
particular area
Suggestion
a particular area
particular areas
the particular area
. In conclusion, restructuring of old monuments
,
Accept space
,
not only raises reputation of a country, but
also
 necessary to exemplify the previous history. Some buildings should be
destroyed which
Accept comma addition
destroyed, which
 can not be feasible to repair.
Submitted by naresh on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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