Some people say the Olympics Games are not relevant in the 21st century. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #olympics #games #st #century

The personal details

such

as hobbies and interests, marital status etc.

requested

Suggestion

Requested

sometimes by employers is actually necessary and needed. Public opinion

vary

Suggestion

varies

on the relevance and utility of personal details collected in

overall hiring process

Suggestion

the overall hiring process

. There are some obvious points that collecting the personal details is important.

Firstly

jobs that

requires

Suggestion

require

odd hour shift may not be suitable for people with family or in some developing countries for females.

Secondly for

Accept comma addition

Secondly, for

job

Suggestion

a job

that involves heavy physical labour work the personal details

such

as height and weight are critical.

Last

but not the least the jobs that needs the employee to have

passion

Suggestion

a passion

for the desired skill example travel host, chef, photographer etc., the personal details

such

as hobbies and interest are very useful for the employers to understand and

evaulate

evaluate or estimate the nature, quality, ability, extent, or significance of

evaluate

the passion of the prospective employee.

On the other hand

, for regular corporate or banking

jobs collecting

Accept comma addition

jobs, collecting

personal data may lead to unfair bias.

First

and foremost employers may be biased on people with family or kids as the general mindset is

people

Suggestion

peopled

with family are less focused toward work.

Secondly

the employer can assume that people with hobbies

such

as travelling may take more leaves.

Lastly some

Accept comma addition

Lastly, some

employer may have a bias towards the

third

gender though

Accept comma addition

gender, though

with equal or more capabilities compared to a male or female candidate. In my opinion, collecting personal information is

some times

on certain occasions or in certain cases but not always

sometimes

necessary

Accept comma addition

necessary, however

however

employers before collecting the personal details should provide a disclaimer as why they are collecting the information and how will they use and

finally

dispose the collected information.

Submitted by jarnailjolly on Sun Apr 07 2019

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say the Olympics Games are not relevant in the 21st century. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that the best way to learn is from newspapers. Others think that the best way to learn is through other media. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many customs and traditional ways of behaviour are no longer relevant to modern life and not worth keeping. Do you agree or disagree?