In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #children #people #government #responsibility

In a lot of nations

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offspring

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the offspring

are becoming

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is becoming

obese and delicate

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some

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Some

people believe that the authorities should have the duties about

this

reality

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From my perspective

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refers to the speaker or writer

completely disagree with

this

statement

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Personally, I believe that eating habit of children is one of the most common

reason

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reasons

of overweight and bad health of a child

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Nowadays

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the kids consume a large amount fast

food

and junk

food

for instance

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chips

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hamburger

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etc

continuing in the same way

etc.

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and these types of

food

have big quantity of calories

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and these kinds of

food

will

make

engage in

people get fat and some related diseases

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In addition

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at present the information technology industry is growing day by day

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as a

result children

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result, children

health is

effected

acted upon; influenced

affected

negatively because a lot of children are usually

keep

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kept

their eyes on their phone or computer and always sit in front of their electronic devices for a long time

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the consequences are

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they

will got

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will get

some typical eyes problems like

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short-sighted

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astigmatism

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Presbyopia

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some

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Some

mental problems

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autism

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Anxiety

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etc

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moreover

the grease that their digest system

have converted

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have been converted

to energy will be accumulated and turn

in to

expresses motion to a point on, or within, something

into

fat

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In fact

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adults have a big responsibility to manage their children's eating habit

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They should keep their eyes on what their children eat

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and educate them to know what they eat

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they should limit the amount of fast

food

that consumed by their kids

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Beside that they should create some outdoor activities for their offspring

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and spend their time with their children

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in conclusi

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, the governments don't have any responsibility of overweight and unhealthy childr

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, the biggest responsibilit

y is belon

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belongs

gs to their paren

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, and their parents should have solutions to tackle

thi

s phenomen

Suggestion

phenomenon

Submitted by josephnguyenn2110 on Mon Apr 08 2019

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
54Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Tourism has been a good source of revenue in many countries and government should promote the industry. Do you agree or disagree.

Many think religion should be taught in schools while others think it should be avoided. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nuclear power is far too dangerous. Therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources of energy such as hydroelectric power, wind power, and solar energy. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

Some people believe that there will be a reduction in air travel in the future. Do you think that this trend is positive or negative?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.