In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Childhood
obesity
Use synonyms
has become a typical sign of deteriorating public health the world over, especially in Western-based countries, where massive amounts of unhealthy food
is consumed
Suggestion
are consumed
on a daily basis. In
this
Linking Words
regard, some people believe governments should do whatever is needed to improve
this
Linking Words
situation.
However
Linking Words
, we should not single out governments as the only ones responsible for combating the childhood
obesity
Use synonyms
crisis. The role of a competent and responsible
government
Use synonyms
is to ensure the well-being of its people.
That is
Linking Words
to say, if there is any serious threat to the people, as childhood
obesity
Use synonyms
is, the
government
Use synonyms
should be the one to
first
Linking Words
realize
such
Linking Words
a threat, introduce and put solutions into practice.
However
Linking Words
, apart from encouraging regular exercise and healthy diets, I doubt that the
government
Use synonyms
has any
further
Linking Words
role to play. The duty to combat
obesity
Use synonyms
in children should not fall on the
government
Use synonyms
alone because parents are, for good reasons, a greater source of influence on children’s unhealthy life. For one, an obese child is often malnourished because they do not receive
appropriate nutrients
Suggestion
the appropriate nutrients
from their food, a truth that reveals parents’ poor choice of diet for their kids.
This
Linking Words
fact
also
Linking Words
suggests that parents can have a direct impact on improving their children’s health by choosing healthy eating patterns that contain less sugar and fat.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
obesity
Use synonyms
is
also
Linking Words
caused by lack of physical activity.
This
Linking Words
can be exemplified by the sedentary lifestyle
favored
preferred above all others and treated with partiality
favoured
by a large number of youths nowadays. And parents are the only ones who can either encourage or force their children to do more physical tasks or exercise. The
government
Use synonyms
should of course do what they can to curb the
obesity
Use synonyms
epidemic, no matter how small their impacts might be.
Also
Linking Words
, I feel the parents of obese children are to blame, and
thus
Linking Words
need to take responsibility for their kids’ unhealthy condition.
Submitted by josephnguyenn2110 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: