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Please help with the evaluation of the below essay. More and more people are choosing ready to eat food rather than cooking themselves. Do this development has more advantages than disadvantages?

#evaluation #people #food #development
Ready to eat
food
 is becoming increasingly popular over the homemade
food
 among people.
This
 essay will argue that the disadvantages of
such
 development are stronger than the advantages.
This
 essay will
first
 demonstrate that how the ready to eat
food
 is yielding to poor
health
, followed by the analysis of the advantage specifically, busy schedule and hectic lifestyle, is not valid. The
consumption
 of excessive ready to eat
food
 among
people especially
Accept comma addition
people, especially
 youngsters is causing poor
health
 issues. The reason behind it is
uses
Suggestion
the uses
 of preservatives and various chemicals in the ready to eat
food
 to maintain the shelf-life of the product,
consumption
 of
such
 chemicals
have
Suggestion
has
 an adverse effect on the human body as well.
For example
, in India, those who consumed ready to eat
food
specifically
Suggestion
specific
 foods made of grains have faced
health
 issues like gastric and acidity and
similarly
 who consumed
food
 that used excessive veg fat have seen the problems like fatty liver. According to a recent survey carried out in India shows that those who consumed readily available
food
 have seen a decrease in
health
 and spend 20% more on medication compared to those who preferred self-prepared
food
. Those who consumed ready to eat
food
 to avoid the
time
 wasted in preparing the
food
 at home are
also
 seen wasting
time
 for medication.
For example
, people often seeing the doctor for treatment of
health
 problems caused by the
consumption
 of ready to eat
food
 which again leads to sparing the
time
 to keep the
health
 and follow the doctor’s prescription. To conclude
consumption
 of ready to eat
food
 causes
health
 issues which
leads
Suggestion
lead
 to more
time
 invested to keep the body fit so it is always better to consume self-prepared or home cooked
food
 and
thus
 maintain good
health
.
Submitted by abhisheksingh2792 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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