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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Please help with the evaluation of the below essay. More and more people are choosing ready to eat food rather than cooking themselves. Do this development has more advantages than disadvantages?

#evaluation #people #food #development
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Ready to eat
food
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 is becoming increasingly popular over the homemade
food
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 among people.
This
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 essay will argue that the disadvantages of
such
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 development are stronger than the advantages.
This
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 essay will
first
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 demonstrate that how the ready to eat
food
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 is yielding to poor
health
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, followed by the analysis of the advantage specifically, busy schedule and hectic lifestyle, is not valid. The
consumption
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 of excessive ready to eat
food
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 among
people especially
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people, especially
 youngsters is causing poor
health
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 issues. The reason behind it is
uses
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the uses
 of preservatives and various chemicals in the ready to eat
food
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 to maintain the shelf-life of the product,
consumption
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 of
such
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 chemicals
have
Suggestion
has
 an adverse effect on the human body as well.
For example
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, in India, those who consumed ready to eat
food
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specifically
Suggestion
specific
 foods made of grains have faced
health
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 issues like gastric and acidity and
similarly
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 who consumed
food
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 that used excessive veg fat have seen the problems like fatty liver. According to a recent survey carried out in India shows that those who consumed readily available
food
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 have seen a decrease in
health
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 and spend 20% more on medication compared to those who preferred self-prepared
food
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. Those who consumed ready to eat
food
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 to avoid the
time
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 wasted in preparing the
food
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 at home are
also
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 seen wasting
time
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 for medication.
For example
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, people often seeing the doctor for treatment of
health
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 problems caused by the
consumption
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 of ready to eat
food
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 which again leads to sparing the
time
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 to keep the
health
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 and follow the doctor’s prescription. To conclude
consumption
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 of ready to eat
food
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 causes
health
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 issues which
leads
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lead
 to more
time
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 invested to keep the body fit so it is always better to consume self-prepared or home cooked
food
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 and
thus
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 maintain good
health
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.
Submitted by abhisheksingh2792 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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