In many countries people are concerned about the number of children who are overweight. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

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Introduction

In recent years, there has been an increase in the number of obesity among children around the world.

This

Linking Words

is mainly because of the lack of active sports, and unhealthy food served at schools. There are a number of measures to be taken in order to tackle

this

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issue.

Body · 1

To begin

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with, nowadays children have more sedative lifestyles than in the past. They tend to spend their leisure time in front of computers and play games for long hours without actively moving.

For instance

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, it was very common for children to play football with their peers after school hours a decade ago.

However

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, today most of them are rushing their homes to enjoy their pastime playing console games. One effective solution to

this

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is educating families and teachers to persuade children to attend sports clubs or do frequent exercises after school. By doing

this

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, children will have a faster metabolism,

thus

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burn more calories.

Body · 2

Another reason for

this

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is the unhealthy food served

Suggestion

school canteens. Preparing meals in large quantities every day lowers down the consideration to make them nutritious.

For instance

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, in the

US 70

Accept comma addition

US, 70

% of schools offer their

students

Suggestion

students'

student

meals with high saturated fat and cholesterol contents

such

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as hamburgers and fizzy drinks. One major method of dealing with

this

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to have implemented

Suggestion

to implement

rules

Suggestion

the rules

by governments to restrict harmful, processed food at schools and check them at regular intervals.

As a result

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, children will consume healthier meals with lots of vitamins

such

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as vegetables and fruits during lunch hours.

Conclusion

In conclusion, having conscious parents and teachers, and implemented rules with close observation at schools are effective in dealing with the issue. If

this

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works well, the number of overweight children would soon drop.

umur.guven

Apr 10, 2019

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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