The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

#amount #time #sport #exercise #schools #children

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In my opinion, Sports and exercise should be

tha

definite article

the

main factor in order for

childrends

a young person of either sex

children

maintian

keep in a certain state, position, or activity; e.g., "keep clean"

maintain

thier

of them or themselves

their

health

Use synonyms

. Schools should not only be responsible for our

childrens

Suggestion

children's

children

mental

health

Use synonyms

and growth but

also

Linking Words

for keeping our

childrens

Suggestion

children's

children

physical

health

Use synonyms

under check. Obesity

have become

Suggestion

has become

is becoming

such

Linking Words

a big issue in our world that every

third

Linking Words

person is suffering from obesity, not to mention the

deseases

an impairment of health or a condition of abnormal functioning

diseases

that

comes

Suggestion

come

with it,

such

Linking Words

as, type 1 and type 2

Diabeties

a polygenic disease characterized by abnormally high glucose levels in the blood; any of several metabolic disorders marked by excessive urination and persistent thirst

diabetes

, Heart risks, cancer and so on.In our culture, Schools have just become a place where we think students should gain A* in every academic subject and think of

physiical

involving the body as distinguished from the mind or spirit

physical

education as a secondary element.

This

Linking Words

thinking is just plain wrong and we need to take some

harss

Suggestion

horse's

horses

horses'

harsh

actions

Use synonyms

inorder

Suggestion

in order

to overcome

this

Linking Words

issue. Teaching children about their

health

Use synonyms

and how to

maintine

keep in a certain state, position, or activity; e.g., "keep clean"

maintain

a healthy

life style

a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes

lifestyle

is pretty important in my opinion and

this

Linking Words

should it start in schools. Schools could conduct special

assembleys

a group of machine parts that fit together to form a self-contained unit

assemblies

assembly

Use synonyms

inorder

Suggestion

in order

to teach

the young

Suggestion

younger

students about the importance of exercise and sport. Schools could

also

Linking Words

organize different events

Use synonyms

inorder

Suggestion

in order

to encourage the students to play different sports and so on. But in my opinion, only increasing the time

spend

Suggestion

spent

on sports in schools to solve

this

Linking Words

problem isn't enough. We need to do more

Use synonyms

inorder

Suggestion

in order

to fully take control of

this

Linking Words

growing situation.

First

Linking Words

of all, we can easily join hands with parents and show them that just by increasing an hour of outdoor activities can

drasticly

in a drastic manner

drastically

increases

Suggestion

increase

their

childs

Suggestion

child's

health

Use synonyms

. Obesity is growing like a cancer in our world, taking hold of everything, rotting away the beauty of

this

Linking Words

world.

This

Linking Words

is a serious issue and we need to tackle it as soon and as

severly

to a severe or serious degree

severely

as possible.

Submitted by ladoobharwa on Wed Apr 10 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

291 words

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The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

Fully explain your ideas

Some local languages are becoming extinct. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The rise of convenience foods has helped people keep up with the speed of the modren life style. What are the advantages of this trend? Do the advantages overweigh the disadvantages?

Some health problems are directly linked to people’s life choices. Why do people make these choices? What can be done to encourage them to make healthier choices instead?

Some people prefer to get up early in the morning and start the day’s work. Others prefer to get up later in the day and work until late at night. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on public services and facilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.