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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people sat that family is the most powerful influence in a child's development. Other's say that other factors such as (Television, friends, music, etc.) play a greater role today. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #influence #child #development #factors #television #friends #music #role
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A
child
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's development depends on many factors
such
Linking Words
 as family, friends, television and each factor has its own unique contribution towards the upbringing of a
child
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. The moment a
child
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 is born the
first
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 contact is with his/her
parents whereas
Accept comma addition
parents, whereas
 other factors comes into existence at a later stage.
Its
Suggestion
It
 is a proven fact that the brain develops 75% by the age of 5, and learns twice as fast as compared to an adult's brain.
Hence
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, families impact a lot into
development
Suggestion
the development
 of a
child
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's intellectual growth. By the age of 5 the
child
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 learns almost all important
task
Suggestion
tasks
 needed him/her to face the world
such
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 as walking,
talking recognizing
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talking, recognizing
 people, mannerism and all these characteristics are made possible by continuous efforts of parents.
On the other hand
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, there are
whole lot
Suggestion
a whole lot
 of other factors
such
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 as television, friends, music through which a
child
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 discovers a whole different world of experience.
For instance
Linking Words
 TV helps a
child
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's mind to explore its imagination through commercials or cartoons which may lead to enhance its artistic character. Whereas friendship creates a bond that teaches trust and reliability apart from family.
Last
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 but not the least,
music
Suggestion
the music
 helps immensely as it is part of a
child
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's life from a very early stage,
for example
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 the lullaby's and nursery rhymes which are taught in nursery still stays intact in mind ever after 20-30 years. In a nutshell, factors may be many that influence a
child
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's
development but
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development, but
 I strongly believe that family contributes the most. Not to forget, family is the
first
Linking Words
 friend for a
child
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 and everything comes later.
Submitted by richie.rimmon on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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