Some people sat that family is the most powerful influence in a child's development. Other's say that other factors such as (Television, friends, music, etc.) play a greater role today. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

's development depends on many factors
as family, friends, television and each factor has its own unique contribution towards the upbringing of a
. The moment a
is born the
contact is with his/her
parents whereas
Accept comma addition
parents, whereas
other factors comes into existence at a later stage.
is a proven fact that the brain develops 75% by the age of 5, and learns twice as fast as compared to an adult's brain.
, families impact a lot into
the development
of a
's intellectual growth. By the age of 5 the
learns almost all important
needed him/her to face the world
as walking,
talking recognizing
Accept comma addition
talking, recognizing
people, mannerism and all these characteristics are made possible by continuous efforts of parents.
On the other hand
, there are
whole lot
a whole lot
of other factors
as television, friends, music through which a
discovers a whole different world of experience.
For instance
TV helps a
's mind to explore its imagination through commercials or cartoons which may lead to enhance its artistic character. Whereas friendship creates a bond that teaches trust and reliability apart from family.
but not the least,
the music
helps immensely as it is part of a
's life from a very early stage,
for example
the lullaby's and nursery rhymes which are taught in nursery still stays intact in mind ever after 20-30 years. In a nutshell, factors may be many that influence a
development but
Accept comma addition
development, but
I strongly believe that family contributes the most. Not to forget, family is the
friend for a
and everything comes later.
Submitted by richie.rimmon on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Quick and easy way to check your IELTS writing task 1&2
Instantly see mistakes you've made and learn how to avoid them.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Improve your IELTS writing score within two weeks
Writing9 scans your text for all types of mistakes, from typos to sentence structure problems and beyond.