You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In some countries the average worker is obliged to retire at the age of 50, while in others people can work until they are 65 or 70. Meanwhile, we see some politicians enjoying power well into their eighties. Clearly, there is little agreement on an appropriate retirement age. Until what age do you think people should be encouraged to remain in paid employment? Give reasons for your answer. You should write at least 250 words.

Retirement
is one of the main
issue
Suggestion
issues
of modern society.
This
issue is not only common in poor
countries but
Accept comma addition
countries, but
in well developed countries too. The
retirement
age
is different in many countries. In my opinion
retirement
age
should be
after
Suggestion
over
50 years because it is hard to find a job after 50 years. The reason for
this
is that most of the employers prefer much younger employees. Another thing is changes in technology, society and so on. The knowledge and experience
this
people
Suggestion
person
had during their whole life may not be relevant today.
This
makes it hard for them to get used to
changes
Accept comma addition
changes, for
for example
in work ethics.
Also
Accept comma addition
Also, this
this
make
Suggestion
makes
it hard for them to start
new career
Suggestion
a new career
from
start
Suggestion
the start
. Now I heard many people claiming that people become rich after 50th or 60th by starting
new career
Suggestion
a new career
and I agree with
that but
Accept comma addition
that, but
the chances of getting
such
success in late adulthood
is
Suggestion
are
quite few. Another reason for why people should get retired earlier is mortality rate. Now the average mortality
age
in many countries varies from 60th to 80th years and setting
retirement
Suggestion
the retirement age
age
after 60th is seems unwise because some people couldn’t live up to their
retirement
. So letting them retire after 50th gives them
chance
Suggestion
a chance
the chance
to spend their
last
year in peace because nobody wants to spend their
last
year working in
office
Suggestion
an office
the office
. But after
retirement
these people should have
chance
Suggestion
the chance
a chance
to work if they wanted to or if they have
job offer
Suggestion
a job offer
job offers
. In conclusion, as I said
retirement
is very complicated process for government or social organization I guess the reason for some countries to raise
retirement
Suggestion
the retirement age
age
is because they might not have enough money to provide.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Try other services:

All the services are free for Premium users