You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In some countries the average worker is obliged to retire at the age of 50, while in others people can work until they are 65 or 70. Meanwhile, we see some politicians enjoying power well into their eighties. Clearly, there is little agreement on an appropriate retirement age. Until what age do you think people should be encouraged to remain in paid employment? Give reasons for your answer. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #countries #worker #age #people #work #politicians #power #eighties #agreement #retirement #employment

Retirement

is one of the main

issue

Suggestion

issues

of modern society.

This

issue is not only common in poor

countries but

Accept comma addition

countries, but

in well developed countries too. The

retirement

age

is different in many countries. In my opinion

retirement

age

should be

after

Suggestion

over

50 years because it is hard to find a job after 50 years. The reason for

this

is that most of the employers prefer much younger employees. Another thing is changes in technology, society and so on. The knowledge and experience

this

people

Suggestion

person

had during their whole life may not be relevant today.

This

makes it hard for them to get used to

changes

Accept comma addition

changes, for

for example

in work ethics.

Also

Accept comma addition

Also, this

this

make

Suggestion

makes

it hard for them to start

new career

Suggestion

a new career

from

start

Suggestion

the start

. Now I heard many people claiming that people become rich after 50th or 60th by starting

new career

Suggestion

a new career

and I agree with

that but

Accept comma addition

that, but

the chances of getting

such

success in late adulthood

Suggestion

are

quite few. Another reason for why people should get retired earlier is mortality rate. Now the average mortality

age

in many countries varies from 60th to 80th years and setting

retirement

Suggestion

the retirement age

age

after 60th is seems unwise because some people couldn’t live up to their

retirement

. So letting them retire after 50th gives them

chance

Suggestion

a chance

the chance

to spend their

last

year in peace because nobody wants to spend their

last

year working in

office

Suggestion

an office

the office

. But after

retirement

these people should have

chance

Suggestion

the chance

a chance

to work if they wanted to or if they have

job offer

Suggestion

a job offer

job offers

. In conclusion, as I said

retirement

is very complicated process for government or social organization I guess the reason for some countries to raise

retirement

Suggestion

the retirement age

age

is because they might not have enough money to provide.

Submitted by zufarovma on Wed Apr 10 2019

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of foods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that illegal internet download are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both views and give own opinion.

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?