For Many people, the the reason they work hard is to earn more money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #reason #work #money

They reason why we

work

hard may depend upon many factors

such

as gaining more knowledge through manual

work

, or as a personal interest in the

work

domain but the main intention I would say is ultimately to earn more

money

. In today's day and age

money

is the only thing that matters most because survival depends on it and to earn

money

one needs to

work

hard. It was not

this

kind of scenario say some 10 - 20 years back, people used to

work

hard even

then but

Accept comma addition

then, but

just to earn enough

money

to support their families or have 3 meals a day. Working hard

is always been

Suggestion

has always been

a trait in humans, and because through

this

hard

work

we have reached at

this

level of technical advancement.

For instance

, in a recent discovery an image of

black hole

Suggestion

a black hole

black holes

the black hole

was developed by an MIT student and it was a 6 month long process and it consumed almost 5

terabyte

Suggestion

terabytes

of data. When interviewed, the student never stated that

money

or fame was the aim for

this

achievement rather her aim was to get the image itself and that gave her happiness. Nowadays, not everyone is enthusiastic about working hard for passion, rather

money

has become the main focus.

Materialistic

Suggestion

Materialism

is what we have become. Working day and night just to make

future secure but

Suggestion

the future secure, but

the future secure but

not living the present while some people forget friends and families in order to achieve the target

money

. Another reason is the living cost, since the economy is growing it has

also

increased the standard of living making it difficult for many people. To conclude, we humans always used to

work

hard but

Accept comma addition

hard, but

money

was not always the reason. What comes

first

is health and

then

wealth.

Submitted by richie_crazy4futball on Fri Apr 12 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial stability
necessities
monetary rewards
quality of life
luxury items
dependents
responsibility
pursue
personal interests
cultural pressures
wealth accumulation
fulfillment
visible measure
correlate
secure future
comfortable lifestyle
entertainment

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For Many people, the the reason they work hard is to earn more money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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