IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, more money is spent on transport system in the cities. In contrast, very little is spent in rural areas. What are the effects of this and what can be done to solve this problem?

#countries #money #transport #system #cities #contrast #areas #effects
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
When it comes to quantifying the development of an area, the
transport
 system is the
first
 facility to be evaluated. A number of
countries these
Accept comma addition
countries, these
 days are injecting heavy funds into urban
transport
 systems while disregarding the rural areas.
This
 instigates a sense of deprivation in the locals
besides
 being a challenge for the
transport
 of agricultural produce. The reallocation of budget is the only way to alleviate
this
 problem. The foremost effect of
this
 practice is that it instills a sense of deprivation in the people living in suburbs.
Although
 the people from
villages enjoy
Accept comma addition
villages, enjoy
 visiting the
megacities
, they are often saddened to note that a lot of money is being spent on metropolises while nothing is being done
for
Suggestion
in
 their areas. Another consequence of having a poor rural
transport
 system is the lack of support to the agricultural sector. The agriculture of any country thrives in its rural areas. The lack of a proper
transport
 system becomes a challenge to disseminate their produce to the markets. If the right amount of budget is spent in the rural areas, their
transport
 systems can be developed
helping
Suggestion
to help
 the locals are well as the agriculture. The rural areas usually have little to no
transport
systems especially
Accept comma addition
systems, especially
 in the underdeveloped countries. Some amount can be allocated to rural areas for a bus service from the heavy budget being spent in
megacities
.
This
 will make the locals happy and
also
 prove to be beneficial for the agricultural sector. In conclusion, the lack of rural
transport
 at the cost of making the village dwellers unhappy and causing issues for the agricultural industry is becoming a serious issue. The governments should reallocate
transport
 budgets so that rural areas can get their fair share and the agricultural sector is
also
 supported.
Submitted by hannanalikhan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: