IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Should government make decisions about people's lifestyle, or should people make their own decisions?

#government #decisions #people #lifestyle
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Should government make decisions about people's
lifestyle
Use synonyms
, or should people make their own decisions? With various
contemprary
characteristic of the present
contemporary
 advancements nowadays, people tend to invest less time on themselves. Albeit, it is a person who can bring about and introduce many changes in their lives towards betterment, but the
governement
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
government
 has an equal role to play in making policies and campaign to highlight important issues into
public's attention
Suggestion
the public's attention
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 will discuss both the views.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the government can bring significant changes in people's life by implementing many action plans and promote awareness campaigns in terms of health and
lifestyle
Use synonyms
. Local authorities may encourage for many other
best
Suggestion
good
 reasonable alternatives
such
Linking Words
 as physical
excercises
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
exercise
 and an awareness
programs
Suggestion
program
 about healthy food and diet.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 related health campaigns should be promoted in order to shift people's interest in considering other healthy options. Schools in
Japan
Accept comma addition
Japan, for
for instance
Linking Words
, are funded by food and health authorities to encourage their pupils to participate in various physical activities
such
Linking Words
 as sports and gymnastics, and are taught about the benefits of
healthy
Suggestion
a healthy lifestyle
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 and diet.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, individual's own involvement and desire for a better
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 is a key factor and a driving force in self-motivation and encouragement. To
substanitiate
establish or strengthen as with new evidence or facts
substantiate
this
Linking Words
, if a person chooses to lead a sedentary
lifestyle
Use synonyms
, it becomes harder for them to stay focused and on healthy track. But, if they choose a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
, it keeps them determined and dedicated towards their fitness goals. To conclude with, both the government and people should play an active role in choosing, implementing and encouraging many healthier options to bring about
major improvement
Suggestion
major improvements
a major improvement
 in the
lifestyle
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by saadiyah.sarum on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: