IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

A balanced diet, or eating balanced meals, is the key to a healthy life. To what extent you agree with this statement?

#diet #meals #life
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Consuming balanced
meals
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 is said to be the most pivotal factor in maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
Although
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this
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 perspective is advocated, there are other factors that contribute significantly to a robust
life
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. Some claim that maintaining healthy daily
meals
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 is the most important for well-being. One possible explanation for
this
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 belief is that having proper foods can prevent diseases.
For instance
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,
according to
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 scientific research,
people
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 who are suffering from cancer can eat fresh fruits to slow down the progression or even eradicate the illness. Another idea is that wholesome
meals
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 contain nutritious elements to help
people
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 extend their lifespans.
For example
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, absorbing vitamin C or D in vegetables and proteins in dairy products could help older
people
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 enhance their immune systems and strengthen their bones, thereby reducing the risk of osteoporosis.
Consequently
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, a balanced diet is an indispensable part of having a healthy
life
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.
On the other hand
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,
in addition
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 to healthy
meals
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, some other activities can be done to lead a healthy
life
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. The first highlight worth mentioning is physical exercise because
this
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 activity could increase participants’ positive energy. Take dancing as an example; when
people
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 dance, endorphins, called happiness hormones, are released in their bodies, making them more genial and energetic.
Additionally
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, mental health plays a vital role in forming a balanced
life
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. To illustrate, frequently engaging in meditation practices or yoga classes could reduce stress in
life
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 and make
people
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 calmer, more delighted, and cheerful.
Hence
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, participating in physical or meditation practices constitutes a happy
life
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. In conclusion, I presume that to live vigorously,
people
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 need to balance consuming healthy foods with taking part in activities that improve mental health.
Submitted by Mads on

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coherence cohesion
It is important to ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay. This helps the reader understand the direction of the argument from the beginning.
task achievement
While the essay covers the topic well, it could be beneficial to further elaborate on certain points, particularly how other factors like exercise and mental health are equally important. This would provide a more balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
Linking sentences and paragraphs more effectively can enhance the overall flow of the essay. Using connective words and phrases will make the progression of ideas smoother.
task achievement
The essay provides a thorough and balanced response to the prompt, covering multiple aspects of maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
task achievement
The use of specific examples such as the benefits of fresh fruits for cancer patients and the role of vitamins is effective in supporting the main points.
coherence cohesion
The structure is logical and well-organized, with distinct paragraphs addressing different aspects of the argument.
task achievement
The inclusion of both physical exercise and mental health as contributing factors adds depth to the discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Balanced diet
  • Essential nutrients
  • Vitamins and minerals
  • Proteins and fats
  • Chronic diseases
  • Diabetes
  • Heart disease
  • Obesity
  • Mental health
  • Cognitive function
  • Omega-3 fatty acids
  • Healthy weight
  • Calorie intake
  • Overeating
  • Energy levels
  • Physical performance
  • Stronger immune system
  • Illnesses and infections
  • Variety of foods
  • Long-term health
What to do next:
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