Sample 2: Internet crime is increasing rapidly as growing numbers of people purchase goods over the internet. What can be done to tackle this problem?

The rapid development of the technology has brought about
various merits
Suggestion
the various merits
to
community
Suggestion
the community
, especially the e-shopping industry. In synchronization with the advantages, the cybercrime, is the online fraudulent, is
the most worth
Suggestion
the worthier
-concerning drawback of
this
factor. From my own perspective, there are a lot of ways to solve it. When it comes to purchasing goods online, individuals play an important role in preventing themselves from the scammers. The plain truth is that they should do more scrutiny on the sellers who they make a deal with before paying money for the products. Thanks to
this
way, they could be able to not only choose the qualified
items but
Accept comma addition
items, but
also
avoid the deceptive e-sellers.
For example
, No sooner had they spent time on reading other customers’ review on Shopee, the giant commercial website in Vietnam,
than
subsequently or soon afterward (often used as sentence connectors)
then
they could distinguish the scammers from the reliable sellers.
Therefore
, they could receive the real products with the high
qualification
Suggestion
quality
after sending their private information or bank account. On top of that, the stricter legislation enacted by the website would alleviate
this
severity. To be more specific, the freedom and
easiness
Suggestion
ease
in registering to be an online seller
has aroused
Suggestion
have aroused
an opportunity for these fraudulent on the Internet. Facebook,
for instance
, where e-customers loss their money for deceptive or exaggerated items monthly has become the unreliable online market because everyone could join in the groups of sellers without having a business registration certificate. Henceforth, the cybercrime will not emerge if
this
practice takes place. As aforementioned explanations, these
such
efficacies, carried out by each individual and website controller, would limit or even halt the emergence of the cybercrime.
Submitted by tony.hrglobegroup on

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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