New household appliances have resulted in more free time for women and has enabled them to both work and run a home with dependent children. What are the advantages for family when mother works? Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

With the rapid development of the technology, most of the household equipment has evolved and become fully automated appliances.
This
improvement leads women to have much free time to do a job and improve overall
income
to
family
Suggestion
the family
a family
families
.
However
, if
both
the parents are working,
then
there is a high possibility
to
Suggestion
for
children to misbehave. Because of the growing economy, living
cost
Suggestion
costs
in every part of the world has increased enormously. If
both
parents are working, that can significantly increase the overall
income
. With a good
earing
(law) a proceeding (usually by a court) where evidence is taken for the purpose of determining an issue of fact and reaching a decision based on that evidence
hearing
earning
eating
, a family can have a luxurious life without any problem.
For example
, a recent study showed that 78% of economically stable families have
their
Suggestion
both their parents
both
parents
work
Suggestion
working
.
Thus
, it is good to have
both
mother and father working in a family, so, they can have more stable
income
. Even though, a steady
income
can provide all the necessities
to
Suggestion
for
a family, without
both
parents at home, their children may do nasty things. Since they don’t have an adult to look after them, they will have enough freedom to play video games, watch adult contents on
internet
Suggestion
the internet
or even can take drugs.
For instance
, a recent police report showed in Sri Lanka, 65% of teenage drug takers are with a family background where
mother
Suggestion
the mother
is
also
working.
Hence
, having
both
parents working for a company may lead to have
detrimental impact
Suggestion
a detrimental impact
on children's future. In conclusion, to face with the demanding basic requirements, it is
good
Suggestion
best
if women
also
can contribute to strength the family
income
. But
this
can
also
lead to some devastating impacts on children’s life including drug addiction. In my opinion, despite the amount of money you get, mothers should stay at home and look after their children and lead them to have a better future.
Submitted by t1556649 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: