New household appliances have resulted in more free time for women and has enabled them to both work and run a home with dependent children. What are the advantages for family when mother works? Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

#household #appliances #time #women #work #home #children #mother #works

With the rapid development of the technology, most of the household equipment has evolved and become fully automated appliances.

This

improvement leads women to have much free time to do a job and improve overall

income

family

Suggestion

the family

a family

families

However

, if

both

the parents are working,

then

there is a high possibility

Suggestion

for

children to misbehave. Because of the growing economy, living

cost

Suggestion

costs

in every part of the world has increased enormously. If

both

parents are working, that can significantly increase the overall

income

. With a good

earing

(law) a proceeding (usually by a court) where evidence is taken for the purpose of determining an issue of fact and reaching a decision based on that evidence

hearing

earning

eating

, a family can have a luxurious life without any problem.

For example

, a recent study showed that 78% of economically stable families have

their

Suggestion

both their parents

both

parents

work

Suggestion

working

Thus

, it is good to have

both

mother and father working in a family, so, they can have more stable

income

. Even though, a steady

income

can provide all the necessities

Suggestion

for

a family, without

both

parents at home, their children may do nasty things. Since they don’t have an adult to look after them, they will have enough freedom to play video games, watch adult contents on

internet

Suggestion

the internet

or even can take drugs.

For instance

, a recent police report showed in Sri Lanka, 65% of teenage drug takers are with a family background where

mother

Suggestion

the mother

also

working.

Hence

, having

both

parents working for a company may lead to have

detrimental impact

Suggestion

a detrimental impact

on children's future. In conclusion, to face with the demanding basic requirements, it is

good

Suggestion

best

if women

also

can contribute to strength the family

income

. But

this

can

also

lead to some devastating impacts on children’s life including drug addiction. In my opinion, despite the amount of money you get, mothers should stay at home and look after their children and lead them to have a better future.

Submitted by t1556649 on Thu Apr 18 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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New household appliances have resulted in more free time for women and has enabled them to both work and run a home with dependent children. What are the advantages for family when mother works? Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Fully explain your ideas

in today's world many people own a smartphone. do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

To solve the ever-increasing environmental hazards throughout the world, the best way is to increase the price of fuel. What is your opinion on the above assumption?

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers, they are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes.what things will they be used in the future? is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?

Aircraft have been increasingly used for transport fruit and vegetable to some country where such plants hardly grow or are out of season. Some people consider it a good idea, but some people oppose it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?