The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with the problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Health
Use synonyms
problems like obesity and diabetes are creating a stress on
hospital management system
Suggestion
a hospital management system
by a number of masses, who are overweight. Some people consider that the best way to tackle with the situation is to introduce more subjects based on sports and exercise in
school curriculum
Suggestion
the school curriculum
. I
am completely agree
Suggestion
completely agree
have completely agreed
with the statement as young children will be aware of their
health
Use synonyms
during growing stage of life.
Linking Words
First
Suggestion
The first
and the foremost, reason to implement lectures on extra curricular activities encourages the students to indulge in daily exercise regimen.
This
Linking Words
method will ensure that the
next
Linking Words
generation will be healthier and will not have
such
Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
diseases. When they will do exercise regularly
,
Accept space
,
they will grow up.
Moreover
Linking Words
, incorporating physical education subjects
,
Accept space
,
not only improve
lifestyle
Suggestion
the lifestyle
of
individuals but
Accept comma addition
individuals, but
also
Linking Words
keep them healthy physically and mentally. Another point to understand is that sports lessons in schools
involves
Suggestion
involve
the children to play and
also
Linking Words
motivates the parents to take
interest
Suggestion
an interest
in games. If their young one's participate in games at school levels, they will perform the same tasks at home.
As a result
Linking Words
, parents get involved to cooperate with their teenagers
,
Accept space
,
which is beneficial for both.
Hence
Linking Words
, parents as well as their children will get rid of
health
Use synonyms
issues. In conclusion, to deal with
health
Use synonyms
problems of unfit generation, it is important to add new
coures
education imparted in a series of lessons or meetings
course
courses
related
with
Suggestion
to
physical
activites
any specific behavior
activities
in academics.Government should take steps forward for
wellbeing
Suggestion
the wellbeing
well being
of citizens.
Submitted by naresh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: