IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some say that secondary school should spend less time on traditional subjects such as history and should spend more time on communication skills and business courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

#say #school #time #subjects #history #communication #skills #business #courses
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The educative process plays a pivotal role in a child's life. There are those who say that subjects
such
 as history should be given less time and more focus on communication and business courses. I,
however
, disagree with
this
 idea to a large extent for reasons I will outline below. From an overall perspective, there is a wide range of reasons why people believe that traditional subjects are necessary to teach in the secondary school curriculum. Perhaps the main point in
favor
promote over another
favour
 of
this
 trend is that
such
 subjects are well-equipped with the knowledge of our ancestors down through the ages.
As a result
, children will get to know how to deal with situations that may crop up at any time.
Secondly
, a school-goer do not have the maturity level to know what his real interest
is in studying
Suggestion
is studying
. The result of
this
 is the options for children to choose subjects is limited, which in turn could have a detrimental impact on them. Every inanimate object has a history behind it. A good illustration of
this
 is that those studying in educational institutions cannot become good doctors if they do not know the history behind that profession. Despite these arguments, there is
also
 a case for the idea that communication and business courses should be given more time. The main reason is that
such
 skills have become a need of the hour as there is cut-throat competition in every field.
For instance
, Multinational Companies
such
 as Infosys, Wipro are looking for practical knowledge of a candidate which can only be achieved through hands-on training. In conclusion, it must be said that historical subjects are equally important as compared to business courses. Overall, I would have to say that I partially disagree with the idea because to be a successful person, it is necessary to know the importance of things around us.
Submitted by sehajrai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: